I just went into one of the bathrooms here at work (where I do all my blogging. Work, that is; not the bathroom.) The lights were flickering drunk wizard fast and I think it gave me a mini heart attack. It reminded me of when I used to work at Shinders (rip) and we had to pull all Pokemon videos because kids were having seizures. I recall Thanksgiving of that year, I was taking a morning nap (sounds weird, I know) while Pokemon was on tv. That was one of the strangest naps ever. I woke up all drowsy and twitchy and shit. Anyway, a little Google search and bam!; YouTube to the rescue:

One of my favorite pranks was to call Shinders and ask about Pokemon cards. I knew from working there how much those kind of calls were hated. My specialty was to call using my best little kid voice:

Dude on phone: "Shinders Edina. How can I help you?

Me: "Pokemon!"

DOP: "Excuse me?"

Me: "Pokemon!"

DOP: "You're calling about Pokemon cards?"

Me: (in my best annoyed little kid voice) "Yeeeess!"

DOP: "What can I do for you?"

Me: "Charizard!"

DOP: "Ahhh, what?"

Me: "Charizard!"

DOP: "You're looking for a Charizard card?"

Me: (still annoyed) "Yes, silly. How much is Charizard?"

The silence on the other end of the phone when I called them silly would almost make me break out in laughter every time. Also, I knew they hated this question because at this time the price was hovering around 400 bucks but still changing like everyday. So they had to walk over to the wall case on the other end of the store and look at the current price. Then come back to the phone, all the whilst knowing there was no way this kid's parents were going to pay for it anyway.

DOP: "Charizard is currently going for 400 dollars."

Me: (silence)

DOP: "You still there? Charizard is going for 400 dollars."

At this point I would break character and switch to my radio voice

Me: "Oh yeah? Bend over so I can fuck ya."

DOP: (silence)

Me: (back to little kid voice for just a second) "Hello?"

DOP: (hesitant) "Yes."

Me: (back to normal voice "I said bend over so I can fuck ya."

DOP: (realizing he has just been fucked with) "Ahhhh..." (click. dial tone.)

Me (and anyone listening in): Much laughter!!!

Dang, those were the days. Now Pokemon is gone, Shinders is gone and caller id is everywhere.

here is the famous Simpsons Pokemon seizure spoof:

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