Thirty Three

Celebrated a good buddy's birthday last night. Here are a few things I learned:

1) Fat equals funny. I decided, after consulting with my friend Courtney in the bathroom, that I should wear Jack's robe and return to the party. People laughed. Someone commented that "it's funny because it doesn't fit you." Someone else called me a "fat-ass" straight up. So fat equals funny. I was told later that I that I compared my self to a list of "fat comedians" that included of all people Craig Fergusson.(???) Don't ask me because I do not know. I was drunk and fat...unlike Craig Fergusson...well, he's not fat.

2) Haiku battles suck. However, "Low-ku" battles are boss hog awesome! The format is 3-5-3. These probably will not be funny to anyone that wasn't there, but taken in the context of the evening and the sheer amount of booze ingested, it was as they say, side splitting.

Matt went first-

-Muffin Slut.
-Chicken Fat Bacon.
-Yes Puppy?

The birthday boy Peter, killed us with this one-

-Shrimp Cocktail.
-Fuck it til it stinks.
-Ace Frehley!

Which of course has left us pondering the question of "how long does it take to fuck something, specifically shrimp cocktail, until it stinks?"

3) Never under any circumstances should a man's balls make a public (or shall I say pubic) appearance...unless they are being placed on or next to the face of another man whom has passed out early at a party. I'll never be to old to enjoy this type of behaviour. (As a side note, I feel inclined to say this. If you are lame enough to place an age limit on those that participate and laugh at this type of behaviour, then you are...well..lame! Sorry you're life sucks so bad.)

4) Just because there is a plethora of top notch liqour and beer, doesn't mean you have to try to drink it all. Man, I feel like shit today.

Thanks to Jack and Amanda for hosting and thanks to Peter for having yet another memorable birthday. Well actually, just about everything I can recall is listed above, but thanks anyway! DWitt blogorized the event as well. As AC/DC says, "All in the name of Rock-n-Roll"..........or something.

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