10/6/08

America Runs On Dunkin'...or How to Pee In Chicago

Dunkin' Donuts, or one particular Dunkin' Donut that is, saved Courtney and I from pissing our respective pants on Clark and Belmont. There seems to be absolutely nowhere in this area of Chicago to urinate without paying for it. Literally...as in purchasing something. We had been on the road, drinking coffee, tea and Mountain Dew and all types of caffeine since 4am. Then, after meeting up with our generous host Joe, briefly to say hi and get his keys, we went to Hot Doug's and pounded glorious hot dogs and even more soda. We wanted to buy things-not food or drinks-but things, but good gawd did we have to pee and only restaurants had bathrooms. The idea of consuming one more drop of liquid just so we could piss and then end up in the same predicament 10 minutes later, or some sort of food, possibly causing an even worse situation of having to shit, was not appealing. After roaming nervously around, scoping out alleyways, posted with signs warning us about areas being treated for rats and such, we rushed into a Dunkin' Donuts. We ordered one Dunkin' Donut. Once the raised, white iced, chocolate drizzled doughnut was finally in our possession, I raised it high in the air and proclaimed "this is our ticket to heaven!" Then I frantically asked the lady behind the counter to "Please buzz me into the bathroom." She smiled and nodded as if to say "I'm on to you." Best piss ever! Because we were full of tube steak and thinking we might need an 'insurance policy' for later, we decided not to eat the donut.....till later.









































video
Resistant Culture@ Apocolypticrust



ps-Joe is awesome.
btw-Apocolypticrust-the whole reason I went to Chicago in the first place-was awesome too.
fyi-Eventually the inevitable piss-in-public happened, under a tree, at Lake Michigan. That was awesome as well.

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