Dear BikeNewBlack, Good Fortune

Dear BikeNewBlack,
Perhaps I should have added "..and if so, what?" When I asked if you collected anything, I was genuinely curious. (I read your profile and you mentioned action figures.) If I knew you were going to be such an asshole, I wouldn't have bothered. Sor-fuckin-e. And another thing, you think you're so funny. My name IS Jorge.
-NOT So Curious Jorge

Dear NSCJ,
First of all, can I just say, I love the "Sor-fuckin-e" part. Sorry, your first email came sandwiched between others, all on the same day, within minutes of each other, that appeared to be jokes. In fact yours arrived just after the one from a gentleman, inviting me to indulge with him, in his "large collection of gay porn." Although I'm still somewhat skeptical, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt on this one and go ahead and address your question...

It' funny you should ask, I was just thinking about this the other day when I pulled not one, not two, but three different fortunes out of my jacket pocket and tossed them on the existing pile. Besides said aggregation, spilling off of my dresser and on to the floor, I have a couple small boxes, jam packed with fortunes dating 10 years back. Any time I attempt to clean my room, I find numerous fortunes strewn about, reminding me how many times I've eaten at an Asian buffet in the last couple months. I've used them in various art projects over the years and sometimes I'll even mail a couple, anonymously, to friends. So they aren't really sentimental or anything but I do have a few favorites that I will never get rid of. One, a joke, says "You own an iron. Would it kill you to use it once in awhile?" And another one that says "In 90 days something good will happen to you." I actually marked my calendar 90 days from when I got that one, but nothing substantial came of it. So yeah, I collect fortune-cookie fortunes.

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