Reader Submitted Content: Dear BikeNewBlack, Online Communities

Sometimes when you put your email address on the Internet and ask people to send you questions or other content that you will subsequently post on your blog, you get something that is technically one thing but in all reality, due to its fantastic nature, should be considered the other thing.

Dear BNB,

Knowing that you are a 21st Century Digital Boy, could you please enlighten me as to the joys/desperation of on-line social networking! I do not have a Facebook or MySpace account and I would certainly have no idea where to start when it comes to Twitter. I'm definitely not ready to suckle the "Sweet Cream of the Twitter-Teat". It's not that I'm technologically illiterate, I simply made the decision to become a conscientious objector. I should probably qualify my opening statements by reminding you that I am also the same individual that purchased his first cell phone within the last month and lost his "text-cherry" to BNB. And I didn't even get dinner first! So in the nature of full disclosure, I'm not immune to becoming a follower.

So I feel as if I have reached a turning point or boiling point if you will. Why is it that whenever I see someone from The Glory Days, inevitably the conversation devolves into back-handed comments about my non-participation in the Facebook Community? Usually this comes from a Facetard that I would never communicate with in the 3-dimensional world, but increasingly my real friends and family have joined the fantasy land that is Facebook.

Help! I am afraid that soon I'll be losing my real-friends to their new pseudo-friends and I don't have many to spare. Do I inform these Facetards that I am already "poking" people in the real world? I am also told that one can deny any friend request that is offered. Sounds passive aggressive to me. I guess I will always prefer to tell people in person that I'm not taking friendship applications. The job has been filled. My question for you BNB is how best to respond to the requests to get my ass on Facebook?

-The Artist Formerly Known As Jackrabbit

This is so goddamn good that I would be committing a grave injustice by following it up with an answer...plus I don't have Facebook. Readers, take a stab at it if you want...



  1. Long Time Reader-First Time CommentorJuly 22, 2009 at 1:59 PM

    I'm going to go against the grain and say something nice. Subscribing to this blog has turned out to be the best decision I've made at work in quite some time. Yes I read it at work, and as a result the day goes by much quicker. BNB, don't sell yourself short. You have proven that you have what it takes to follow this is up with something good. So, Mr. BNB, I implore you, "take a stab at it."

  2. Jackrabbit is good but not "so goddamn good." Just saying. I'd venture to guess all of these are fake anyway.

  3. @Long Time Reader... Nice shit aint allowed here. GTFO!

    @Anonymous... Comments are fake too. Except for mine.

    This was tolerable.

  4. i deleted my facebook. twitter is funny though.

  5. The firt comment has got to be BNB.

  6. I am certain that there must be a stalking-narcissist ex of BNB that would love to find out "What's on his mind?" As of yet, I'm still waiting for guidance, be it from BNB or his witty readers/voyeurs. You got anything SHITCOCK?