Dear City of Minneapolis,
Reluctantly, (and I say reluctantly because, being an anarchist, I don't believe in the concept of paid parking) I deposited $3.75, all in quarters into parking meter ZN304. Instead of three hours and forty-five minutes worth of parking, I was awarded a nice, bright, blinking message telling me I had failed-"FAIL!" Seriously? What a fucking racket you've got going here. Why doesn't it just say "Haha sucker, we've got your money and you still can't park here!"? If I wanted someone to call me a failure I would just call my dad. I'm sure that would cost a lot less than three dollars and seventy-five cents. Seriously though, there really ought to be a way to return the coins if the machine isn't working properly. So, the real failure here is you, the City of Minneapolis. Yes, you. I repeat, YOU HAVE FAILED; not me. (Dad, that goes for you too.) Please contact me immediately with your plan to rectify the situation and to begin the facilitation of refunding my $3.75.