11/4/09

Can a dude get some pain relief up in this piece or what?

Hey Zeus Christo (That's how agnostic folks say Jesus Christ. That or Cheese and Rice. Or even Jeebus Lice. Anyway, as I was saying...) Hey Zeus Christo, getting old really fucking chaps my ass! (Literally, sometimes. Like last Saturday. I spent first part of the day walking the boardwalk on Venice Beach and other places on the beach with my pal Schindeldecker. {Last name. [No, seriously.]} It was hot out but I was jumping on a plane back to Minnie later in the afternoon so I wore skinny jeans instead of shorts because, you know, it's cold back here. So I'm walking around getting all sweaty in the ass. {Some call it swass. For sweaty ass. It's really fun, just put an sw in front of any body part. Sweaty tits becomes swits. Sweaty balls [which I also had] become swalls. See what I mean? Fun isn't it?} So yeah, I was all swassy and swallzy and then jumped on a plane and sat it in for three and a half hours. So by the time I got home, my ass was chapped, literally. So, as I was saying...) Getting old really chaps my ass.

As some of you might remember, awhile back I hurt my back, twice, within a month; each time putting me out of commission for at least two weeks. Honestly, I never truly recovered from it until just recently. And now, as of last night, I have a severely sprained ankle. How did it happen, you might ask? That's the kicker (Ironic isn’t it, that I would use terminology like kicker when talking about my ankle? {Think about it. [Its part of my foot. Duh.]} So, as I was saying...) The kicker is I don't even know how the initial sprain happened. I mean, I have a pretty good idea what aggravated it. (Cycling and the elliptical machine at the gym. {Perhaps going to the gym with a sprained ankle wasn't such a good idea. [Yes, I knew it was slightly sprained.]} So, as I was saying...)  I have a pretty good idea what aggravated it but I have no idea what caused the initial sprain. Other than, I'm just getting old. Which, by the way, really fucking chaps my ass.

Can a dude get some pain relief up in this piece or what?!

7 comments:

  1. Screw physical pain, ADD is the real problem here.

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  2. You're a fan of the Mary Jane, no? If not, I recommend it.

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  3. I think you need to go to a meeting of PA (parenthesesoholics anonymous).

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  4. Jesus ur not old. Old peeps dont say stuff like "up in this piece."

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  5. can a dude take a freshman comp class up in here

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  6. oh wellz its nice 2no he stazy in conact with some of his flings ftw.

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