judging by the cover...

Dear Cute Blonde, With The Ugly Boots, Reading a Book on the Train This Morning,

I couldn't help but notice your choice of reading material.  Great Expectations, huh.  Seriously, come on!  Great Expectations?!  Lemme guess, your idea of a fun nice Saturday night is a few glasses a glass of wine warm milk while watching old episodes of Hart to Hart Murder, She Wrote. On VHS of course.  Oh, oh, oh, and I know...  Your favorite collection at the Institute of Arts is the Roman and Greek classicals.  Amirite, or amirite?  Boring.   

Here, let me tell you how it goes. 

A young boy named Pip steals food and booze from his family on Christmas to give to a shady, yet hungry and thirsty criminal named Magwitch.  Many years later Pip inherits a large sum of money from an unknown benefactor.  On a stormy night, Pip learns that said benefactor is, of all people, Magwitch.  Magwitch eventually dies of natural causes on, get this, the night before he was to be hanged for being a shady criminal!  Old-fashioned European laws make it so they can take Pip's money away because his benefactor has died, thus crushing Pip's dreams aka "great expectations."  There is also something about a love interest named Estella.  The end.

Ok, now pick something else to read.  Quick, before the 'cute' wears off.