8/28/09

Reader Submitted Content: Parking Fail

Dear City of Minneapolis,

Reluctantly, (and I say reluctantly because, being an anarchist, I don't believe in the concept of paid parking) I deposited $3.75, all in quarters into parking meter ZN304. Instead of three hours and forty-five minutes worth of parking, I was awarded a nice, bright, blinking message telling me I had failed-"FAIL!" Seriously? What a fucking racket you've got going here. Why doesn't it just say "Haha sucker, we've got your money and you still can't park here!"? If I wanted someone to call me a failure I would just call my dad. I'm sure that would cost a lot less than three dollars and seventy-five cents. Seriously though, there really ought to be a way to return the coins if the machine isn't working properly. So, the real failure here is you, the City of Minneapolis. Yes, you. I repeat, YOU HAVE FAILED; not me. (Dad, that goes for you too.) Please contact me immediately with your plan to rectify the situation and to begin the facilitation of refunding my $3.75.


-Tooth

8/26/09

Event Reminder: Canned Beer Poetry Tonight!

What's today's "secret of the city?" Answer!

Come down to the BAG tonight for the latest installment of the Crash Course Reading Series. This one features Canned Beer Poetry. It's also closing night of The Wrestling Show. Everything starts at 6pm. As always, BAG events are free! Make it happen! Yeah, exclamation points!

Back Alley Gallery
262 E 4th St #LL2
Lowertown-St. Paul, MN 55101

8/25/09

Oh, don't act surprised.

...Wrestling Show press: Blog Slam...

...The me from the 90's finds this depressing: Jim quit Pennywise...

...Question: Is it ok to blog anonymously?...

...Answer: YES! (Cue "says the guy that calls himself BikeNewBlack" comments)...

...Sons of Anarchy: Season Two!...

...Gossip Girl: Season Three!...

...Found on the Greenway: my new jacket...


....Favorite new form of street art: Yarn Bombing...
.
...I started composting...

...In other news...

8/24/09

WHHOOOOOAAAAAAAAT A....hangover

The Wrestling Show is seriously out of this world. If you love wrestling but hate art or hate wrestling but love art or you love both wrestling and art or even if you hate both wrestling and art, you really, really, really need to see this show. It would be incredibly difficult to recreate opening night in all its glory (i.e. python measuring, broken tables, arm wrestling, chest slaps, chest chops, unbelievable beer fueled promos, etc.) but you still have another chance to see the art show. All of the fantastic wrestling inspired art will still be up this Wednesday night when the Crash Course Reading Series, in celebration of International Canned Beer Month, takes over the gallery from 6-10pm. Please come join in the fun!













More pics from opening night are up here.

8/22/09

Event Reminder: Tonight!

The Wrestling Show
Back Alley Gallery
262 E 4th St #LL2
Lowertown-St. Paul, MN 55101
Opening Reception 6pm to.....

thebackalleygallery.com

A-Listed!



8/21/09

Distortion Days

Went to Distortion Days last weekend at the Bedlam Theater. Friday night, I arrived just before one of my favorite local bands, Cognitive Dissonance played. Even though they were without their normal lead singer they still ripped. Tierra De Nadie was next. In the past I've really liked them but now the dude from Discider sings. For whatever reason I just wasn't feeling it. Went to Taco Bell during Assrash to get a Crunchwrap Supreme, which would later result in me having an actual assrash. Back at the show, apparently I had just missed some crusty drama. The usual dispute over who stole who's booze culminated in a few stinky fellows beating down another stinky fellow. Of course none of the stinky fellows involved in said scuffle had actually paid to get in, but rather just hung around the entrance, drinking Natty Ice, not taking care of their dogs, and creating unwanted attention for the Bedlam. Punk rock, right? I decided it was a good time to tear into the cans of beer I had stockpiled in my bag and focus my energies on enjoying the rest of the bands-Absurd System, Aghast and Bludwolf. The place smelled like someone emptied out a porta-potty inside high school wrestling room. At some point I just quit washing my hands after pissing. I mean, what was the point right? A couple girls kept staring at me and eventually one of them approached me to ask if I was "that guy that does that blog?" I gave her a wink and said "maybe" and then shook her hand. Whoops. If you're reading this, sorry about the pissy hand shake. All three of the bands were quite excellent, as was the aforementioned stockpile of canned beer in my bag. My favorite dude was this guy...

I know he's in the pile-it-all-on stage and say what you will about how he's not a true anarchist because he doesn't wear all black but seriously, how could you not love this outfit? It is so badass that he wore it both days.


There was also this totally righteous dude wearing this totally righteous shirt...

How great is it that the skeletal hand is reaching for a Pepsi! "And she wouldn't give it to me!"


Saturday night, more of the same. Got there late again but luckily, just before local thrash band, Question. The grumbling around the room is that this might be the last time Question plays because Saira, the lead singer (also of Faggot), is leaving Mpls for the east coast. Bummer. They raged hard, as expected. Saira looked amazing. No big surprise there.


Absurd System played again for some reason. Perhaps because Nerveskade didn't show? Like I said, I was late. Either way I wasn't complaining. Plus I had another bag of brew with me. SSR were so fucking great. Because I was a little drunk and caught up in the excitement, I thought it was a good idea to take a million pictures...












My memory gets a little fuzzy at this point but I believe Perdition was next. All I know is SSR was a tough act to follow. I hadn't showered all weekend because, ya know, I wanted to fit in. So every time I lifted my arms up it smelled like a vegan wiping their ass with a dirty leather jacket. I hung around with new pal Josh, from Richmond, VA for a bit. We rocked out to Anguish.







My favorite people on the second day of a fest are the classic passer outers. Who knew Misery was such relaxing music...
Do I detect a scent of hummus?...