Dear BikeNewBlack, Ageism

Dear BikeNewBlack,
Punk is such a young man's game dontchathink? How do you keep up?
-Old Fake Punk

Dear OFP,
Last Saturday night I was at a bar wondering if my homie LG was going to show up. I knew he would dig the bands but I also knew he could potentially be too drunk to make it because he had been drinking since earlier that day (at his comic book release party.) Exactly one minute after I texted him, he walked in...

I was like "Oh, I just texted you."
And he was like "Oh, I don't get texts anymore."

And I was like "Bummer dude, because that was like an epic fucking text."

I'm at the Hex.
Decent bands.
Lots of beards.
I'm over it.
The beards, that is.
You coming?
To the Hex, that is.

So anyway, what was that you were saying? Oh yeah, punk, right. Uhmmm, yeah, it's totally for the young dudes.


Pirate Zesto

You know what totally sweet besties do? They create a comic book together. Bffs Derek and Loren have finally finished and made available their long-awaited Pirate Zesto.

To celebrate, they held a release party last Saturday afternoon at Loren and Amanda's humble southside abode.

As long as I've known Derek and Loren (only about 3 years) they have been talking about Pirate Zesto. I suspect their older friends have been hearing about it quite a bit longer. If you're the social networking type and would like to get your hands on a copy (and I strongly suggest you do) you can catch them in the alley behind the nearest high school. If you ask, they'll even autograph it for you.

But, what's it all about, you might ask? Hmmm, well let's see..."the duality of man"....Billy Corgan as a time-traveler...bearded children...monstrous ice cream cones...ya know, I think Loren said it best...

"It started as an innocent gathering of friends going out for ice cream, but quickly escalated into a supernatural kidnapping followed by a longass bus ride."

Pirate Zesto #1 has a limited run, so act fast.



...life chooses you...

...if it's yellow, let it mellow...

...if it's brown, flush it down...

...if it came from your gash, throw it in the trash...

...in other news...



Come down to the Back Alley Gallery tomorrow night. Our friends Nikki Ruddy and Rachel Wacker are having an art exhibition called Semi-Automatic. Opening reception starts at 6pm.

Back Alley Gallery
262 E 4th St #LL2
Lowertown-St. Paul, MN


Blogging has made me like so stupid.

Last night, while plowing through some Star Moon with the gf, I caught the end of the new Melrose Place show. (Btw, it's true what they say about the rude phone service at Star Moon.) A very good looking couple were making up after, what I guess, was a lover's quarrel. The women was apologizing, saying, among other things, that she had updated her Facebook profile status to reflect that she was in a relationship or engaged or something. For just a second I wanted to get really upset about this.

And believe me, I started to bitch.

Then occurred to me, this is a very real situation. And, in fact, I have unwantingly overheard an old roommate and her bf have this exact argument-about Facebook statuses-on more than one occasion. (Is unwantingly even a word?) Every day people are hearing about their daughter's first menstruation cycle via Facebook status changes, Twitter updates, blog posts, and so on, instead of finding the bloody undies in the laundry. (The pros & cons of social networking topic is pretty much exhausted at this point, so I'll spare you a lecture here.)

Anyway, I was thinking, you know how some people are "just not ready for a black president" or "just not ready for gay marriage to be made legal."? Well, I'm just not ready for Facebook statuses to be an integral part of my television programs.

But wait...then if occurred to me...

One of my favorite shows-Gossip Girl-is based entirely on an anonymous person (Gossip Girl) sending out "blasts" (Mass text message updates.)

So what's the fucking dif, ese'?

Answer: not fucking much, holmes.

Either way, I'm still not joining Facebook (even if it means I can't see pictures of my sister's kids) but I will accept that it's (quite possibly) an indispensable part of life and therefore is naturally going to impact television scriptwriters.

I'm most likely not watching Melrose Place. It looks pretty horrible.