3/30/10

Dear BNB, Cleared For Landing

Legal Disclaimer: HDD staff members do not condone or endorse the use of narcotics of a psychedelic nature or otherwise. Nor do any members of the HDD staff admit to ever using narcotics of a psychedelic nature or otherwise. The answer to the following Dear BNB is purely speculation, at best.



Dear BNB,

Had kind of a rough weekend with hallucinogens and way too much Special Export. It got me thinking, being the old-timey know-it-all that you are, that I should ask you this question.

What’s the best way to come down from an acid trip?
Love,
Millennial In Need Of Gen X Advice



Dear MINOGXA,

Well, my young Net Gen friend, I can tell you this much: it most certainly is not sitting in a vinyl booth at a truck stop at 8am, staring at a plate of breakfast sausage, after splitting a tab of fire with your gf at a rave that you just left 30 minutes ago. And I can tell you that it is most certainly not laying face down on Easter morning at your buddies college house, watching the dirty brown shag carpet “making waves,” while a PBS cooking show plays in the background and you have to meet up with your family in a couple hours. And I can tell you that it is most certainly not inside a blazing hot tent in a field full of literally thousands of people in your very same predicament, outside of Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Oh, wait, that last one might have been mushrooms.

It most certainly IS watching the sun come up, with the birds chirping and either The New York Loft Sessions or Satta Massagana playing on the stereo. It’s like being in a Spike Lee movie, except without all the yelling.

First of all, if you’re not between the ages of 19 and 25, then you shouldn’t be fucking with psychedelic stuff. Your mind is either not ready for it, or can’t handle it anymore. If you fall within these parameters, read on. If not, good bye.

The key to a good LSD come-down is preparation. And the key to a good LSD come-down preparation is also preparation. IOW-don’t drop and then and then start setting up for the come-down or you stand a very real chance of ruining your trip. All come-down preparation is to be completed prior to take-off. Now, on with the preparation, shall we?

Pot
The first step is pretty simple: score some bud. The same dude that’s hooking you up with blotter has the weed too. Of course you already know this, as old Mary Jane is who led you to here. You didn’t just all of sudden decide “Hey, I want to lose my mind on some micro dots.” You spent 3+ years religiously puffing the herb and now you’re ready to step it up a notch. When you’re coming down, ganja is the familiar comfort you need to curb those uneasy feelings that come from spending the previous 5-8 hours being a drug-taking asshole.

CleanWhen you’re coming down, everything around you is going to seem gross and dirty. (Truth is it’s you, manifesting into your surroundings, how bad you feel about yourself for being a drug-taking asshole.) Make sure that wherever you are coming down is clean. And make sure that the bathroom, especially, is immaculate. A shitter is already a horrible place, and it gets even worse while tripping. When you’re coming down, a stray pube can make your toilet look like a gaping asshole with a beard. You’re already going to have a hard enough time pissing from your acid-shrunken dick; trying to make it happen into Jerry Garcia’s mouth will only make it worse. Take some time to clean.

No PlansRecovery takes awhile. Clear your calendar for the entire next day. You may not know it but you’re still coming down. Under no circumstances should you plan to do anything that requires any brain power whatsoever. Pick out some comedies or a season of Gossip Girl and fill the freezer with ice cream treats. Also, hopefully you still have some of that smoke left. It’s you time!

Thanks for writing in.

Love,
BNB

Send your questions for BNB to bnb@hotdogdayz.com, Attn: Dear BNB.

12 comments:

  1. oh i remember acid raves they were way better than extacy ones.

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  2. Yes, pot is VERY IMPORTANT.

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  3. Damn, I thought this was going to be about landing strips on chicks. Hated it.

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  4. this is some funny rap music saidMarch 31, 2010 at 10:33 AM

    Finally, something funny. Pics are cool and all but words are where its at. Right a book dude.

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  5. arnt all of these fake?

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  6. Watching people eat while on the trip is quite gross. People all appear like dissgusting animals. Avoiding looking in the mirror is also reccomended.

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  7. who is this imposter righting in? we dont do acid. that's hippie shit. give me meth or give me deth.

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  8. I don't want to ruin anything here but have you noticed he hasnt talked about punk rock in ahwile.

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  9. Yeah, the break from PR has been nice.

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  10. April Fools! Besides, PR stands for Puerto Ricans, not Punk Rock. Duh.

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  11. Post Secret--the last two comments were me. Burn!

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  12. Hey Higgins, I noticed this is some funny rap music and Generation Y both used right instead of write. Same person. Also I am Anon3:05. So Anon2:04, like DX says, we got two words for ya, SUCK IT!

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