Dear BNB, Gluteus Racistus Maximus

Dear BNB,
Why do black dudes always feel the need to say something to me when they pass me on the street? I asked a friend and he said it was because I am a cute white girl with a big ass. Fair enough, I suppose, but why is it always black dudes and never white dudes or Asian dudes or Mexican dudes? Is it a cultural thing? Do I just not understand black culture? Am I racist?
-Little White Girl

Dear LWG,
For the record, I’m like so totally not racist that I just read this as dudes, dudes, dudes, dudes and dudes.

LWG, you seem to have more of a grasp on “black culture” than you think, as evidenced by the fact that you referred to yourself as a 'Little White Girl.' And just because you recognize racial stereotypes doesn’t mean you’re a racist. It just means that you’re aware of the differences in, well, culture. Just ask your friend. You know: the one that said that black guys holler at you because you’re a “cute white girl with a big ass.” I mean, that is a fairly common stereotype. As long as you’re not letting stereotypes affect your judgment (AKA prejudice), you’re in no real danger of being a racist. (And don’t let some uptight, guilt-ridden, uneducated fool tell you otherwise.)

Truthfully, a guy’s attractiveness to cute girls with big asses knows no racial boundaries.

Maybe the guys you’re passing on the street—that just so happen to be black—are taking a more direct approach than you’re familiar with. Because really, whether it’s a black guy asking when you’re going to let him hit it or white guy telling you that he likes your sweater, they’re essentially saying the same thing: “I’d like for us to make some sort of arrangement that would result in me fucking you. Preferably from behind, because I think you have a gorgeous butt.”

Trust me, it’s not a race thing; it’s a dudes thing.


  1. Anonymous RacistMay 11, 2010 at 4:21 PM

    i see what you did there.

  2. this is some funny rap musicMay 11, 2010 at 4:27 PM

    LOL @ ".....attractiveness to cute girls with big asses knows no racial boundaries."

  3. You didn't crop the flip flops off that chick in the photo?

  4. NO, its a black thing. FOR SURE. Mexicans always whistle. Not sure about Asians though. I think they just kartae kick at you.

  5. I would like to suggest that LWG send in a picture of herself or her butt so that we can make a fair assessment of the situation.

  6. Holla not HollerMay 11, 2010 at 6:27 PM

    @LWG your fat ass cheeks provide more surface area for our above average, black penises. not a race thing, it just feels better.

  7. Holla not HollerMay 11, 2010 at 6:41 PM

    "not a race thing" meaning; black, white, yellow, red. I just want to tap some fat ass.

  8. You call yourself an ass man...May 11, 2010 at 8:12 PM

    Why did you choose such a small ass for the pic when you could have used something like this or this

  9. @You call yourself...May 12, 2010 at 10:31 AM

    Michael K has more ghostwriters than BNB.

  10. Wow lynx to dlisted. Does anyone even look at that sight nemore?

  11. this is some funny rap musicMay 12, 2010 at 9:27 PM

    I used to look at D-Listed up until a few months ago when it became pretty apparent that he wasnt the one posting anymore.

  12. No, they like you because you will do their laundry, iron their extra large white tees and buy them menthols. Your big ass is just a bonus.

  13. asians dont like large butts because there dicks are so small so thats why they dont holla at you.

  14. Hit it, tap it, slap it. Yeah baby.

  15. Haha Michael K used to be funny when he wrote his own stuff.