5/25/10

I'm so bored with the P-U-N-K.

There is no such thing as an old punks, just old punk bands. I mean have you been to, oh, say, a Buzzcocks show in the last 10-15 years? No? Oh, well let me tell you about it…

Everyone is old; but not one of them is punk. Inevitably there is always some newer band opening that the old-timers have to suffer through because they arrived at the venue super early because the ticket said "doors @ 7"--because when you get old you’ve become conditioned, by several years of staying in watching primetime television and being in bed by 10pm for the news, to believe that everything starts on time--and now they are shocked that it looks like the Buzzcocks won’t come on until…what’s this?...gasp…9pm. And, oh my gosh, that opening band was just too loud. Between bands, the house DJs do their best to get some energy in the room; but to no avail. When they play Anarchy in the UK, slightly-interested-but-sort-of-tired mom leans over and says, “I remember this one; The Sex Pistons, right?” Less-interested-and-more-tired dad ignores her and checks his watch. When they play Iggy & the Stooges people start talking about how the whole tax system in the United States is set up to benefit those that own property. When they play Minor Threat or early Bad Religion they may as well be a teenager telling their parents they hate them because people are willing to throw them the car keys if they will just shut up for a minute and go to the mall already. Hell, when they play Judy Is A Punk, even the old guy in the Ramones t-shirt yawns. Then the Buzzcocks come on and just when you’re thinking to yourself hmmm, well I don’t really need to stick around just to hear their three good songs, one of those old not punk dudes that you met once grabs you and wants to buy you beers so you’ll listen to him talk about the housing market and how maybe starting the ocean on fire was a good idea because after all this oil spill is some serious shit. So you sort of 'get into' the show and pretend you’re listening to this not punk old dude because he’s buying you beers, and the Buzzcocks do their three good songs and you figure it’s a good time to repay the favor and get this guy a beer for once; but he declines your offer and tells you he’s had plenty and he’s tired and that he should have left a long time ago. It’s at this very moment that you realize that there is no such thing as old punks, just old punk bands. That, and that going to see old punk bands is what it must be like to watch Lost: slightly confusing, a little bit disappointing, but mostly just boring.

13 comments:

  1. Jack Nicholson as The JokerMay 26, 2010 at 8:16 AM

    This blog needs an enema!

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  2. Take a cue from the old guys and slow down. You're moving way too fast. Tough read.

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  3. I'm so bored with this blog post. Quit your whining. Give the old fogies a break, they're probably not much older than you anyway. They just have better jobs.

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  4. this is some funny rap musicMay 26, 2010 at 9:36 AM

    I don't think they get the joke.

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  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  6. Stop kissing ass Anders. The blog intern post was a joke you obviously missed.

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  7. The comment that you deleted wasn't directed at you.

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  8. I thought the post was funny, calm down people. It's just a blog post after all.

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  9. anyone who doesn't realize that the majority of the stuff that he writes is just poking fun at himself is a dipshit.

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  10. I agree with anonymous.

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  11. Lost was a really good show.

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  12. ^Fake J.Sho, although I do agree.

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  13. ^^Knock it off! Do you not have anything better to do than fake being someone else?
    -The Real J.Sho

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