6/17/10

Dear BNB, The Bottom End Fell Out

Dear BNB,
Is there a difference between a dilapidated butthole and a prolapsed anus? How can I prevent this from happening to me?
-#1 Fan

Dear NOF,
Well, I have not confirmed this with a biological organ professional but I am fairly certain that a butthole and an anus are pretty much the same thing. (Also, I should note that I am answering your question from my real life job and the last thing I need is for someone to ask me why I Googled either of these things.) When something is dilapidated it means it has deteriorated or fallen into partial ruin. Prolapsed is similar in that it refers to something that has slipped or fallen out of place. Dilapidated and prolapsed organs—in this case, the butthole/anus—are often times the result of misuse and/or neglect. So in both instances, I think what we’re talking about here is a butthole/anus on the verge of defeat, barley capable of performing its primary function after an undetermined period of cruel and inhumane treatment. Like I said, I’m not willing to risk my job to image search this, but I’m guessing it looks like a 2 or 3 inch upside down volcano made of purple flesh, hanging from the area that used to be your sphincter.

There are a couple of ways in which you can prevent this from happening. One, stop putting things up your ass that don’t belong there. A moderate amount of properly lubricated butt sex is tolerable—and in some circles encouraged—but it’s time to retire that Big Black Rubber Fist. ™ And two, stop eating at White Castle. Period.


New Hope, MN, '99-'00

Having relationship problems? Looking for fashion advice? Need help planning practical jokes on your co-workers? Have a burning question like this one? Send them to Dear BNB at bnb@hotdogdayz.com

5 comments:

  1. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN! Good stuff this time.

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  2. lol@ trademarking big black rubber fist

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  3. this is some funny rap musicJune 17, 2010 at 1:24 PM

    Lol@ BNB hanging out with people that wear hemp necklaces and wool sweaters.

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  4. How come it says 0 comments but there are already 3? Also I thought this was really funny. The new thing is to leave positive comments right.

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  5. oh right, because sliders make you shit a lot. yawn.

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