8/12/10

Steven Slater's Breakdown Is The Internet's Fault. Do The Math.


Does this look like the face of an asshole?

There have been assholes and bitches since, like, forever. I mean as long as there have been humans there have been assholes and bitches. Of course there have always been nice, decent, hardworking, genuine people (like myself and Steven Slater) but unfortunately, they get run over every day by assholes and bitches (like you.) Now I realize this is certainly not a new phenomenon by any means. But the asshole/bitch to nice person ration has undeniably grown by leaps and bounds in recent years.

Depending on which Wiki entry you’re referencing, the first internet message board went live sometime in the early 90’s. About 5 minutes after that someone genuinely interested in starting an intelligent dialogue, posted a great idea for a television show exploring the connection between space aliens and men who smoke. About 30 seconds after that someone responded, calling the first poster a “fail” and hypercritically correcting all of their misspellings. That’s about two decades of humans being conditioned to believe that you should act like assholes/bitches online. Roughly the same amount of time Steven Slater has worked as a flight attendant. Naturally, after 20 years, people are going to start treating each other like this in real life.

And that’s why I blame the internet for Steven Slater’s breakdown.

It takes a little work to be a decent person. But is the payoff worth it? So you’re a nice guy; great, you have a lot of friends and people know they can count on you. Well, how’s your paycheck buddy? That saying “nice guys finish last” is no joke. You think your boss got to be the boss by being a nice person? Think again. He/she is a fucking asshole/bitch that stepped on the backs of hardworking, nice people to get to his/her comfy office and disposable salary. You know the guy who had the idea for that sci-fi TV show was? No? Me either. You know who the guy that called him a “fail” was? Screen writer, Chris Carter…creator of the X-Files, that’s who!

Steven Slater’s career was going nowhere as nice guy. Some bitch turns him into an asshole for five minutes and now he’s going to be making at least six figures.

12 comments:

  1. hypercritical assholeAugust 12, 2010 at 12:39 PM

    I see what you did there.

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  2. Very clever. However, I think you should have taken more time to write this. There are two very different points you're trying to effectively get accros here which makes if a bit confusing for the reader. Sorry, was that being to "hypercritical?"

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  3. Not all bosses are that bad. Some of us just happen to be in the right place at the right time. I realize the resentment some of my employees may have towards me but I also do my best to show them I am human and relatable.

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  4. You need a fact checker. Funny though.

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  5. Notice I said former. That's cuz you're fired. As a writer you are fired.

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  6. The Truth Is Out ThereAugust 12, 2010 at 3:14 PM

    Fuck I did not know that Chris Carter shit. I had heard he ripped some guy off but I didn't know the details.

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  7. X Files? Really? Didn't that show end in like 1981?

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  8. I sorry but I just dont get it.

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  9. would the real Scully please stand up? If you were Scully, you would know when the show ended. Fail!

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  10. that's Simon & Simon. Our show ended in 1988. That little "fact", Anonymous 1:57, proves we are who we say.

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  11. Your assertion here is that money is everything and if you're not an asshole or a cunt you won't have any, correct?

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  12. Vince Vaughn in Couples RetreatAugust 16, 2010 at 7:11 PM

    "There's not a lot to say."

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