9/8/10

Dear BNB, Tom Waits For No One

Dear BNB,
Tom Waits is the worst. Amirite or amirite?
MMKTHX,
-Christian Lyter (AKA Anonymous)

Dear Christian,
Huh, random. I don't really care for Tom Wait's music either. Otherwise, aside from the cigarettes, he seems like a fairly decent guy. I would argue that it's not Tom Waits, but rather his fans that are the worst. Seriously, they are like so totes redic. Saying you like Tom Waits is like saying you hate music. And I've never seen a more poorly dressed bunch. Which seems strange, since dude's got personal style dialed. I mean even hippies have a look they are going for, but TW fans just wear whatever. They haven't gotten a new piece of clothing since, like, the mid-90s, let alone washed the ones they own. And holy crap, talk about dandruff. Their shoulders look like cocaine got in a fight with a fast food salt packet on Christmas. And what makes TW fans even more comical is that it's not like anybody really likes Tom Waits. In fact, nobody really likes Tom Waits. It's just something normies say to sound like they are down. Like, somehow listening to the same pretentious masturbatory song for the last four decades makes you cool. Please. You don't like Tom Waits; you're just trying to cover up the fact that you haven't been to a laundromat in ten years.
-BNB



Send your burning questions or questions about your burning to Dear BNB at bnb@hotdogdayz.com

14 comments:

  1. nice troll reversal.

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  2. I was about to rip this apart until I watched that video and then I forgot what I was going to say. Great movie.

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  3. Christian,
    Sent from your iPhone? ;)

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  4. That wasn't me asshole. That was Alex or somthing.

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  5. Oh that was supposed to be at diet cocaine.

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  6. I'm totes sick of people commenting several times under different names.

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  7. Head & ShouldersSeptember 8, 2010 at 1:53 PM

    Because everything that is not written by "Nathan" or the oft-dreaded Doomgoblin seems to be self-referencial in-joking, one can only assume that BNB is a huge Waits fan. In which case, you shoud use my name next time you shower.

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  8. Fuck off. First of all, the way you butcher the English language is . A writer you are not. I don't think I can read this blog anymore until you either take a freshman comp class or learn to grow up. Secondly, Tom Waits is a fucking gem! He's got more talent in his little finger than the two of you douchebags combined. Haters hate, artists create. It's not funny anymore guys. Have fun blogging for 8th graders. I'm moving on.

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  9. That was ONE TIME. Let it die.

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  10. The Original AnonymousSeptember 8, 2010 at 3:19 PM

    Dear Christian Lyter,
    Stop being such a fag.
    mmkthx,
    -The Original Anonymous

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  11. I'm a TW fan but I take no offense to this. People like Anon12:34 and 2:14 are hating on this because they don't get it. If you have not caught on to BNB's style by now, maybe you are better off not visiting HDD. I don't mind paying a compliment when a compliment is due. He had little to work with and he turned it into something worth a few laughs. You're taking offense to what he's writing and, well, that's the point. What I like about BNB's stuff is all of the less obvious things. Like with this one, for example, the movie clip he picked is less random than it looks on the surface. BNB likes to write as if he's coming of the dome, but my guess is it's much more well thought out than that. Often times the best jokes are hidden under a few layers.

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  12. If BNB is a ventriloquist, that^^ is his dummy.

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  13. the dandruff jokes is tits, man.

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