12/8/10

Dear World, That Smart Phone Makes You Look Dumb

I watched Mark Zuckerberg on 60 Minutes on Sunday. He wants the whole world to be Facebook. Think about that.  Three days before that I was sitting at the bar with two very fine folks that told me about something I missed out on because I wasn’t on Facebook. One of them said to me, “It’s time to give in or get left behind.” As I write this, approximately 50% of the world just status updated something about eating a good bagel or being sick of homework. I tell ya, Facebook is the Phillip Morris of the internets.  The gf told me that The Situation made 3 mil this year. The Situation. And people are surely disillusioned if they think Jay-Z, Kanye or Eminem made the best record in 2010. On top of that, my doctor—whose kind of hot (no homo)—got up close and personal with my privates yesterday. Of course it’s a million below zero outside, so my penis looked like a raisin on coke. Diablo Cody was on the Chelsea Lately panel, which reminded me that I’m not famous because I never left the Midwest. And that’s total bullshit because I’m a really good writer and an even better actor. Like, the fuckin’ best.


No srsly, can everyone please shut off their Twitter mobile updates. It’s really harshing my gig when we hang out.

9 comments:

  1. the irony is that i just looked at this on my iphone.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What just happened to the Dave Campbell post? It was up and now it's gone. I had a good comment to leave too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. The irony, it's a joke right? It has to be.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Okay I'm back to reading this blog again. This was really funny actually. If you don't get it, the jokes on you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. is this what passes for a post these days. this sight is sinking faster than michael k's and you its obvious you don't even have ghostwriters like him. ps, you're old.

    ReplyDelete
  6. @Name/URL

    Just becuase someone doesn't like it, doesn't mean they missed the joke. In this case it means the joke was really bad.

    ReplyDelete
  7. @^^

    Funny, I made damn-near the same comment a while ago on another blog in regards to Andrew WK. Are you stalking me, Anonymous? Text/Facebook/Tweet me if so.

    ReplyDelete
  8. If your not folowing @heavymetaltony your not using twitter write.

    ReplyDelete