Tattoos=Donkey Tits

I love tattoos. I think they're beautiful and interesting. It's living art. The colors fade, the shape of the tattoo changes as your body moves and grows (i.e. when you get old and fat). I think they're super great! However, I start falling asleep when I read long stories about what the fucking tattoo means. I DON'T CARE. But I am terribly amused when I'm looking at tattoo blogs and I see these descriptions and they are just SO RIDICULOUS.

I got this tattoo because it signifies the rebirth of that time when I saw my goldfish jump out of her bowl and then my grandmother slipped on the fish and fell down and broke her hip. We didn't think she was going to make it, but somehow breaking her hip cured her emphysema. It was a miracle! So that's why I have a tattoo of a rose. Because her name was Rose. Love you grandma!

You know. Boring shit like that.

Then again, who am I to tell you what you can put on your body and why you should do it? Everyone has a different opinion. I once talked to this old hippie dude who was all, "I don't understand little tattoos that people hide away, man. If you're gonna get something make it big and bold, let people see it." That's not how I feel. My tattoos are my property. They're like notches in my belt that remind me of different times in my life. I think more about how I felt and what I was going through when I got each one more than what it looks likes. Yes they are decorative, yes you can look at them, but no, I didn't get them to impress you or make you think I'm cool or something.

Then again, tattoos aren't even that cool anymore. Everybody has them. They aren't subversive or dangerous anymore. Now you gotta get into that crazy body modification shit if you wanna seem edgy. I'm not much for piercings or body mods. I want to be all PC and say that's just my personal preference... but seriously... sticking silicone balls under your skin so you can look all lumpy is fucking gross. Branding and scarification is gross. Those might even be the same thing, but I don't wanna risk a google search and have some pictures show up. Believe you me, I run into enough weird shit when I search for porn. (Bloodsports anybody? Yeah, no thanks.)

I think my point is that you should do what you want with your body as long as it makes you happy and doesn't hurt anyone else in the process. I have a friend who hangs herself from meat hooks in her backyard when she's depressed. Perhaps not the healthiest way to deal with those emotions, but it doesn't really affect me. Aside from grossing me out. But I think a lot of things are gross. Some people think eating meat is gross. Fuck 'em, I'll do it anyways. Just like my friend can hang from meat hooks til she bleeds out if she wants to. It doesn't affect me. I don't need your goddamn approval and you sure don't need mine. So go nuts!

p.s. I've got a tattoo of a donkey with tits.

I'm Faster Than My Shadow


  1. second! nice piece. kind of a ramble but a good one. is that you in the pic?

  2. I regret every single tattoo I've got. SOOOOOOOO STUPID, UGH! Eh, whatever. I have a laugh when I think about what we are all going to look like when we are 80 laying around the pool at the retirement home. Ish!

  3. Good to see HDD back in full swing again.

    Doomy, tat pics or GTFO.

    HDD, No need to check my IP Address. I'm only commenting under one name now. ;)

  4. This is an entertaining read. That is all. THanks.

  5. Troof. Her name is Cinnamon.


    Cheerio HDD!

  6. OMG^^ is that a tramp stamp?

  7. Damn straight. She's my trampy honkey tramp stamp.

  8. Thanks for pulling through on the pics Doomy. Has any ever complained of being distracted when hitting it from behind? :)

  9. One dude did. Mostly cuz I was tired and that was the easiest route of satisfaction. But maybe he was a closet furry. Who knows!

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