drnk emails to my editor: excrerpts from "RElax dude, I didn't know she had a girlfriend"

Ya know, this is the life.  A guy could really get tion to this.   A week aho I was in Mexico, laying by the pool, swiming in th ocean, eating great food, drinkning cerveza's anbut th is isnt so bad.  I'm lahing in baded, not mein, but th erather ghte granddaudghter of the women whos hosting tme.  I walked bEating buttersquatch candies, liteing to my ipod and readinhigh fideltiy.  I didn trea d theis book until now for a reaon.  Iit was given to mme a few years agon, and now, ae years later, I understnd why this nook was given to mee  at the point in my life that it was.  T
he baer was ok.  only 5-7 peole. One guy that was makeing a zpoint of being exremely onoxious, talki gas lloud as he could.  who the fuc cares I thought. but hten again, like, "who the fuck cares"  IAbout half way thorug my first lone it occurs to me that even  if i couwas int he poitin whre fucking yoa wsomeone an otion, that there is not a very good chane i coud indeed fuck somene irht now.  Not beicausI think Ive seen all the  this town has to fodffe int he wya of ladis .  And al the  the bartenedier is cute, she owuldt go fo a gy like me thas jus a touris t.  sure whe look godd at first, and w ahaven some thing th ey can dream abou but when it really come down o it, whaty need something staqble.  and an out of towner is anthing  but stga ble  in town ofr a fuckon en nigh and out.  nah, that doent sound to appealing now dies it.  but htat deoesnt amatter any wya as i am not ,  like i ssaid, in the  position to  e fcining someong.  i make my way  ack to my room.  i consifder for a moment trhowing aup a tag on one of  the dumpsters behind the gast statino.  ro mayb eon gone ofa sign. but th is thown is clean. whats th evalue of fucking it up?  wht do i really have gto gaing so somen that hha  i dont tag for th sake of tagging.  i tag  ecaus someon on  the inetnet said it was cool.  of course i m kindding but serijosly i see no pint in defacing thais town, where the only graf i ve see is in the mens bahtroom of the gas stationg on the other end oftwon, near the i e sculptures in teh partk, that siad "(inster name) sucks cokc."  And while i do find that highly entertaining, i dont thing one more NASER tag is worth it.  so, as i was saying this nt all th ebad.  a guy could bet used to this t.  lahying here eating buttersctch candies, listendg to ipod, and realking high fidelty in a bed that is not mine but rather the grandaughter of the host at whc im sthyaing.


  1. This is a tough one. Only made it a few sentences. I feel bad for your "editor."

  2. Yikes! Sorry I tried but I can't do this one. But then again that's probably the point eh.