Dear BNB, Was That You?

Dear BNB,
While I was sleeping this morning I had this weird feeling that someone was standing above me masturbating.  Was that you by any chance?
-Dirty Diana

Dear Double D,
I don't believe I have had the pleasure of making your acquaintance.  So, nope, not me.  I know what's going on here though.  The meat-jacking ghost-like presence is not an uncommon occurrence among ladies such as yourself.  It's just the latest manifestation in a long line of unexplainable things in your life.  It's the same reason you fucked the whole football team at that one house party in high school.  It's also why you went through that feminist lesbian phase your freshman year of college.  And it's why you're dancing around poles and on tables for a living now even though you have bachelor's degree in social work.  What's going on here is simple: You're being haunted by a suppressed memory of your stepfather.  I'd recommend regularly seeing a psychologist to work through this issue. Just make sure you never drink any water during your therapy session that isn't handed to you in an unopened bottle or you'll never get past square one. 
Good Luck,

Send your queries and/or trolling attempts to "Dear BNB" at bnb@hotdogdayz.com


  1. I love how these people attempt to troll you and you come back with something good like this. Sad thing is, you're probably right on the money.

  2. @anon1:53

    It's easy to come up with a clever answer, semi-clever at best, when you have a week to do it. I sent this to him last week and just to entice him to write more is all. I was not being total serious of course duh.

  3. haha this is hilarious. yeah step fathers have been known to fuck up the live of many a young child.