I'm So Uncool. A series in which we list things we like/don't like/could care less about/have strong opinions about etc., etc. As always, we welcome any and all contributions. Send yours to I'm So Uncool at email@example.com. In the meantime, here are some things I normally like but are sort of pissing me off lately...
There are not of options for eating clean. You got your green veggies, citrus fruits, almonds, egg whites, whey, and lean proteins. Lean proteins are basically limited to poultry, fish, and cuts of beef with "top" and/or "round" in the name. Well, you're not supposed to eat fish more than a couple times a week because of mercury levels and shit, and beef even less. Which leaves you with poultry the majority of the time. And let's be honest, poultry basically means chicken. (Yeah, I know about turkey dumbass, but I'm not talking about nitrate-filled deli meats here; I'm talking about healthy yet economical choices.) The leanest part of the chicken is the breast, and if you want to keep it that way there are limited ways in which you can prepare it. So it boils down to that old too-much-of-a-good-thing thing. Chicken breast, you're one of my favs, but you're monopolizing the clean eating world and that shit is really harshing my gig.
Georges St. Pierre
GSP is the current UFC welterweight champion and one of my favorite fighters ever. However his last, oh I don't know, million fights have been total snoozefests. Yes he pretty much dominates everyone he steps in the octagon with but he never seems to go for the finish. Instead, opting for the unanimous five round decision. Whether he's out-striking his opponent on the feat or imposing his will in a twentyfive minute humpfest on the ground, he's putting people to sleep. And where he used to cut passionate post-fight promos, now he just apologizes for being, well, boring. Georges, you're the man, but goddammit finish someone already! You're really frustrating the shit out of me. Also, if you're gay, just admit it. Trust me, that would be the most badass thing in the history of MMA.
Yeah, I know that as a punk I'm supposed to hate Justin Theroux because he wears a Crass shirt to Starbucks in Maibu with his gf Jennifer Aniston and shows up at Hollywood celebrity functions in a patched-up jean vest and mismatched Nikes. Yep, he dares to break the cardinal rule: you can't be both rich & famous AND punk. He must not know that punks are supposed to hate money and success or whatever. Anyway, he had a photo spread in last month's GQ in which he sported two things I extremely dislike: '70s-style gear and a cigarette in his mouth. Justin, I like you but that shit pissed me off. The'70s is the decade that fashion forgot about, and smoking, well that's just fucking stupid.
Popcorn, you're the best. You're reliable and comfortable, and you have the uncanny ability to make the worst movie watchable or the shittiest bar tolerable. I sincerely love you. But here's the deal: you're always stuck in my teeth and you affect my bowel movements in a really weird way. It's kind of pissing me off.
Runner's Up: CM Punk, Red Hot Chili Peppers, local Hip Hop, The Vikings, The NBA