6/29/11

Scene Report: Motley Crue and Poison Live At The Target Center

Mötley Crüe and Poison- A Live Report
By Nathan G. O'Brien on Scene Point Blank 

It was as if the rural communities of Minnesota and Wisconsin took a giant crap all over downtown Minneapolis on Friday night. I’ll paint for you a simple picture of the folks in attendance: Old. Fat. Ugly. White. You might laugh at me, but I was actually a little surprised by this. I have seen the Crüe a few times in the last six or seven years and the crowd is usually a little more, ah, current. At one point the GF told me it would look less-obvious that I was in awe of these creatures, if I was actually talking to her while observing them, rather than standing there— jaw on the floor, shaking my head in disbelief.

Coors Lights were eight bucks a pop...  Continue reading here

6/28/11

6/27/11

Record Review: Mauser-End Of The Line

Mauser-End Of The Line (Vinyl Rites)
By Nathan G. O'Brien on Scene Point Blank

In terms of underground punk, there has been a noticeable trend lately towards a less-produced sound—a focus more on rawness and distortion, than on cleanliness. Such is the case with this Gainesville, FL four piece’s impressive new 7”. There is an obstinate noisiness present throughout End of the Line—blown-out, screaming vocals, guitars and bass dripping with reverb, and severe blast beat drums—that will leave the listener feeling dizzy, exhausted, and quite possibly looking for a Xanax. Yes, played at the proper volume (loud, duh), this stuff is totally capable of triggering a panic attack.  ...Read the rest of the review here.

6/26/11

How To Win A Dwarves Contest

from: chili cheese bnb@hotdogdayz.com
to: contests@(shitty music website).com
date: Wed, Mar 9, 2011 at 4:51 PM
subject: Dwarves Contest

I know you're hoping to get some lengthy, purposefully ironic diatribe about why I should win the contest. But fuck that. I'm old and I don't have the time. I've been a Dwarves fan forever. The first time I saw them was way, way, way back in the day in Minneapolis at a place that doesn't exist anymore (Uptown Cafe). Blag jumped off stage mid-set, ran over to the bar, where a heavyset man was sitting--the same heavyset man that had been heckling the band all night--grabbed the guy's beer glass and smashed him over the head with it. Blood everywhere. Okay, that's totally bullshit. I mean that happened...to some extent. I may have taken some liberties (I don't think the guy was heavyset)...but I wasn't actually there. My friend Lars The Heathen was. The first time I actually saw the Dwarves was years after that when they were on some shitty Epitaph package tour (that 20-something me didn't think was that shitty at the time) with Dropkick Murphys and others. At the time the the Dropkicks still had some real, live, actual skinheads come to the shows. Blag was taunting them during the whole Dwarves set, "Come on faggots, I want to see some skinhead violence!" And eventually he got what he wished for...which was great for everyone else because the skinheads got kicked out and the rest of us were able to enjoy the show. So, yeah, like I said: fuck that; I'm not going to write some lengthy, purposefully ironic diatribe about why I should win the contest. The truth is I won't buy the shit either way, but I want it...So you should just give it to me. Thanks in advance.

-BNB
2011 Winner of the (Shitty Music Website) Dwarves Contest


from: Contests
to: chili cheese
date: Tue, Mar 29, 2011 at 9:56 PM
subject: Re: Dwarves Contest

Congratulations!!!
You've won a Dwarves set! All I need from you is

Name:
Street Address:
City, State, Zip Code:

Thanks,
Candy

from: chili cheese 
to: Contests
date: Wed, Mar 30, 2011 at 9:25 AM
subject: Re: Dwarves Contest

Yeah Candy, like I said, I knew I would. I mean, how could I not, amirite?

-BNB


from: Contests
to: chili cheese
date: Thu, Mar 31, 2011 at 11:58 PM
subject: Re: Dwarves Contest

Haha, no problem. Yours was by far the best entry.  All I need now is your address and I will mail it right out.

-Candy

from: chili cheese
to: Contests
date: Wed, Apr, 3, 2011 at 9:25 AM
subject: Re: Dwarves Contest

Candy,
How about instead of mailing it to me, you take it into Travis' office, turn that sumbitch sideways, shine it up real nice, and shove it straight up his rudy-poo candy ass.  No offense to you personally--I know you're probably just interning there--but that dude is a grade-A fucko, who thinks he's far more entertaining than he actually is.  I don't want anything mailed to me from his shitty music website, nor will I ever look at it again.  Besides, Blag already sent me the new Dwarves CD for my own, far-superior blog, HotDogDayz.
Love,
-BNB

6/25/11

HDD reviewed in MRR

The fine folks at MaximumRocknRoll reviewed HotDogDayz #2 in their latest issue. A few inaccuracies though--it is issue #2, not #1 and it is $5 donation, not free...unless you are broke, want to trade, or ask nicely. We still have some of these left. Email one of us at bnb@hotdogdayz.com or thee.n.o.b@gmail.com or simply use the PayPal link at the top right of this here blaaaarg.

MRR #338, July 2011

6/24/11

Scene Report: The Gateway District Live At The Hexagon Bar

The Gateway District live, Hexagon Bar, Mpls, MN, 6/23/11

You know those times; you're standing alone in a dingy bar, watching a really great band--maybe you've had a few...or a few too many--and suddenly a wave of sentimentality comes crashing down onto you, crippling your emotional coping capability, leaving you no choice to but to face the fact that perhaps you'll never see those certain someones again--be it your running mates from the salad days or the ones-that-got-away--and that even if you did, it wouldn't be like it was back then, and then you decide it's a good time to start sending out text messages to the folks in question.  Oh, that's never happened to you?  Huh.  Well if it did, odds are it was while you were singing along to The Gateway District.

Last night's crowd at the Hex was sparse to say the least.  Perhaps it was the bubblegum garage pop of Oakland, CA's overrated and gimmicky No Bunny, taking place across the river at The Turf Club (highly unlikely), or maybe it was because--depending on if you still look at MySpace band pages or not--you didn't even know GD was even playing.  (Thank gawd for Facebook updates, amirite?  Nah, JK.)  Even with the meager audience The Gateway District did what they always do best--have a blast playing good-time, catchy pop punk.  As usual it was all smiles on stage between the two former Salteens, Carrie and Sturgeon; and those vibes extended to us, making it easy to have just as much fun as they were.  Like the last few times I've seen GD, there were the same three or four superfans right up front, singing along.  I know they are just having a good time and who am I to knock them for that, but at certain point it becomes a little obnoxious and quite frankly, annoying.  You're not in the band.  GD played all the older ones from Some Days You Got the Thunder and a bunch songs that I didn't recognize, that I assume are from the brand new record, Perfect's Gonna Fail.   They were by far the most captivating band to play last night, as evidenced by their set being the only time the band room of the Hex was somewhat full.

For loner dudes like me, the only downside to seeing the Gateway District play is that it has to end at some point.  And then you are left, an emotional wreck, nostalgic for days (and people) gone by, trying to hide under the brim of a tightly pulled Twins cap, staring at your phone, wondering what those certain someones are up to, and shooting off ill-advised text messages to them, which will no-doubt go unanswered, prompting you to go home and spend the late-night hours YouTubing videos the 'Mats performing "Answering Machine."

6/23/11

6/20/11

HDD Summer Series #2: A Tribe Called Quest

The Tribe documentary comes out in a couple of weeks.  Apparently everyone involved with this flick is pissed off at each other, playing a game of he-said-she-said. Who cares! Here's hoping this comes to the TC. It's bound to bring back a lot of memories...

It's no secret, Tribe was the shit. I still remember the first time I heard of them--Yo! MTV Raps with Ed Lover and Doctor Dre, all day! The video was for "I Left My Wallet In El Segundo" and I knew immediately that I had to have it. I spent more than a few summer days walking the shores of Lake Bemidji and Nymore (what'up Nymore!) with a deuce-deuce of Mickey's in a paper bag, rocking People's Instinctive Travels and Paths of Rhythm or Low End Theory cassettes on my knockoff Walkman. This was well after Midnight Marauders was out on CD, but my broke ass still didn't have a CD Walkman. I had the pleasure of seeing them three different summers--Lollapalooza in '94, Smokin' Grooves in '96, and opening for the Beastie Boys on the Hello Nasty tour. You know, like, back before you were born and shit. 

And let's not forget Michael Rapaport has been down with hip-hop since way back. Zebrahead anyone? Shit, that man named one of his kids after Maseo from De La Soul.  It's comical to think about now, but that shit--white kids into hip-hop--was kind of controversial back in the day. And I can tell you from experience, it wasn't easy. (Shout outs to my old-school Bigfork "wiggers.") Anyone remember Chris Mullin shouting out Brand Nubian in 1990? I do. 

I also remember a living room, the smell of herb hanging heavy in the air, a ridiculous amount of blunts being passed, and "Jam" from Beats, Rhymes and Life on the stereo; everyone rappin' along, "It was a Friday afternoon in the middle of June/Heineken bottle caps and the aroma of boom...Then he introduced me to that hydro smoke/I took one toke/Yo, I almost choked."

Hellz yeah, I'm looking forward to this.

6/18/11

Dear HDD, I grilled a steak that looks like Africa!

Dear HDD,
I grilled a steak that looks like Africa.  Check it out!  Shout outs to my Gibbon-Fairfax-Winthrop N I double G As. "This is protected by the red, the black, and the green...with a key, sissy!" 
-Grand Verbalizer


Fairfax, MN, 6/13/11

Send your stuff to bnb@hotdogdayz.com

6/17/11

HDD Summer Series #1

A little late, seeing as how we are midway through June already but whatevs, summer is kind of off to a slow start anyway.  Here at HDD we are heeeyuge fans of summer.  After the winter we all went through here in the TC, how could you not be ready for some nice weather and good times, amirite?  This is the first installment of what we hope will be (you know how it is around here) an ongoing feature--the HDD Summer Series.

How to Avoid The Summer Bummer
What this basically equates to is "How To Ensure Your Sex Organs Get Some Attention This Summer Because Anything Else Would Certainly Be A Bummer."  Since there really are no rules to summer, think of these more as guidelines...

Clothes: Keep 'Em Simple
Don't get all carried away tyring to look fashionable.  Scott Seekins can get away it because it's his gimmick.  But not you.  You don't have a gimmick, you have a mission:  have as much fun as you can and get laid.  It's summer; everyone's fuck-me-right-now levels have been skyrocketing since spring.  Provided you have a little bit of a tan (more on this later) you can pretty much wear whatever you want without spoiling your chances of getting some penis, vagina, anus or whatever your personal preference might be.  Besides, summer is about comfort.  All guys need are a few old t-shirts and a pair of cutoffs.  (At this point it should go without saying--no more cargo shorts!  It's 2011 guys, come on.)  As usual, gals have so many more options than men.  However, summer is not necessarily a time to exercise them.  Less is more--skirts, sundresses and short-shorts.  Show some leg, ladies!  Summer fashion is not rocket science.  Note to everyone: save the flip flops and sandals for chilling in your backyard, the cabin, lake, beach etc.  When you're in the city you wear shoes.  Duh.  

Working Out and/or Dieting: Scale It Back
This one might come as a surprise.  But seriously, getting a little soft in the summer months is totally natural.  There's a plethora of barbecue, beer, and ice cream to attend to.  If you're doing summer the right way, you're over-indulging on all of them on a regular basis.  We're not saying to skip exercise altogether.  You can do push-ups, crunches, Hindu squats and all types of stuff outside. Get your cardio by shooting hoops, kicking around the soccer ball, skateboarding, cycling, paddle-boarding, jogging, or whatever.  Save gym visits for after sundown and rainy days.  If you miss a workout or two...or three or four even, don't freak about it.  There are plenty of cold, snowy, miserable months just around the corner to spend getting in shape.  Don't waste your summer worrying about your body.  Besides, if you follow the next step, your beer gut won't really matter... 

Tans: Get One.
There are two types of people that can make pale skin look sexy: goths and red-heads.  If you fall into either of these categories, you're allowed to skip this section.  (Although it's not totally recommended.  It is summer after all.)  Now, just so we're clear; do not go for the Darque Tan-orange-spray-on look.  Rather just a little natural sun.  You know how people say "get some color"?  That's all were talking about here.  Yes, too much sun is bad for you.  But no sun at all is your enemy.  It's not only bad for you but bad for anyone that has to a, look at you, and b, deal with your depression issues because you have no vitamin-D in your life.  Sunscreen exits for a reason.  Use it.  Fact: A tan makes you look 10 lbs. lighter.  Fact: A tan will increase your chances of getting a piece of ass by 87%. 
  
Hygiene: Embrace Your Inner Dirtbag
Summer is like, hot, ya'know. Naturally you're going to sweat a little. If you're doing anything physical whatsoever (biking to work, skating to the post-work beer party, having sex under a blanket at Lake of the Isles with someone you met at the beer party, etc.) you're going to be stirring up dust. Dust which will cling to your moist body like a St. Paul Midway drunk clings to a cheap pack of smokes. Invest in some wet wipes. Feeling dirty? Wipe down. The gf calls it a "Jewish Shower." I call it a "Whore's Bath." (She's a Jew and I'm a recovering whore, so we have license to make these jokes.) The nice thing about wet wipes is that you can buy them in travel size packages that fit nicely in your bag, glove compartment, back pocket, desk drawer at work, or anywhere the opportunity of cunnilingus, fellatio and/or fornication might present itself. If you have some wet wipes near you, you're always just a few swipes away from fresh sex.

10 Things We Love About Summer
A quick list of things we are looking forward to in the coming monthsIn no particular order...

1. Mpls/St. Pl Block Parties- Live music, backpacking your own beers in, people-watching, and making fun of that annoying Foxy Tan chick or the pathetic Drinking With Ian guy.

2. Small Town and/or Suburban Street Dances- Two words: BEER TENT!  Also, feeling superior to the locals and having license to act like an ass because nobody knows who you are.

3. Waffle Cones- I C E  C R E A M Booyah!

4. Riding Your Bike Everywhere- Duh.

5. Brainless Movies- Whether it's a muggy 100+ day or a rain-out, going to the theater for an air-conditioned marathon of mindless super hero movies and bad popcorn is a great way to salvage it.

6. Hardcore Matinees- There a ton of great punk shows every summer.  And the nice thing is, they are usually done early enough that you can still get your late-night-party on. 

7. Bratwurst- Grilled encased meats, fuck yeah!  What's not to love?!   

8. Lakes- Minnesota has 10,000 of them, but in a weird twist of math, the Twin Cities has like, a million. When you run out of wet wipes, jump in the lake.

9. No Socks- Only retards wear socks in the summer.  We mean that it the nicest, least-offensive way possible, btw.

10. Can we say Block Parties or Street Dances again?

Want to contribute?  Please do!  Send your stuff to bnb@hotdogdayz.com

6/14/11

6/13/11

Record Review: Culo-Toxic Vision

Culo-Toxic Vision (Deranged Records) 
By Nathan G. O'Brien on Scene Point Blank

As it turns out, Cülo are actually four white dudes from Elgin, IL—technically a suburb. I have to admit: a younger, idealistically naive version of me very well may have dismissed a band based on such knowledge. Now, as a seasoned veteran of this game, I can proclaim confidently (and with only a tiny percentage of irony): the suburbs got it goin’ on!  ...Read the rest of the review here.

6/7/11

6/6/11

HDD Issue #2 Still Available

We still have a few of these suckers left.  Make someone's day--get 'em a zine!  Good for perusing while pooping.  Take LTH's word for it...

"I like issue #2.  It's great to look at while taking a #2."
-Lars The Heathen

Cover-to-cover HotDogDayz #2 is 32 pages of art, photography, collage, found items, and more--bullet belts, Crass font, graffiti, James Franco, vomit, etc. Gritty black & white with a full-color centerfold. HDD is a non-profit venture. The sales from each issue are donated to a charitable cause. If you'd like to purchase a copy, you can do so by clicking on the Paypal link below or emailing thee.n.o.b@gmail.com or bnb@hotdogdayz.com. Include a name and an address. Suggested donation is $5 ppd. However, any amount under/over $5 is greatly appreciated.  We also love to trade!  Please don't hesitate to contact us with any questions. Update: Next issue due sometime this SummerWe mean it, man!



6/5/11

Nothing New





Mpls, MN, May-June '11

6/3/11

6/2/11

Scene Report: Dirty Biker Party

Last Sunday we went to the Dirty Biker Motorcycle Shop for a party aptly titled, Dirty Biker Party. Billed as a "Motorcycle and Metal Show," it was a full day of music, BBQ, beer, and, of course, motorcycles. Unfortunately, the nice weather was too nice for people to not be out riding, which meant their were not as many cycles in the lot as they had hoped.  But there were still a handful to check out...if you dare get near them.  (Not sure if you're aware of this, but bikers can be kind of intimidating.)  A total of five bands, spanning the metal spectrum, tore it up inside the shop, while various volunteers kept the grill rolling all day outside. And everything was complimentary to boot. There was a modest but enthusiastic crowd in attendancenot bad for an event in a city ripe with Memorial Day options for those not camping or on the road.  We know we must have had a great time because we woke up with sore necks from headbanging and hangovers from, well, you know what causes hangovers. 

We got a chance to catch up with Jason Austin, owner and operator, of the upstart Dirty Biker Motorcycles, to chat about the shop and the party...

HDD: Tell me a little bit about Dirty Biker. You’re a new shop—when did you start?

Jason Austin: We opened up shop in the spring of 2011.

What’s your deal? Like, what services and/or products do you offer?

We specialize in service/repairs for all Harley Davidson, American V-Twin custom motorcycles and select import bobbers and choppers. We also buy and sell new and used parts for these types of bikes. We will also do motorcycle apparel. As well, we do house calls for motorcycle services and simple repair, and towing, detailing, storage, and consignment sales of motorcycles.

How did you come up with the idea for the party this past weekend? What inspired that?

It came from a vision I continually get when I look in my parking lot—it screams, "If you throw it, they will come.” I have all this space; I may as well use it. This shop is more than just a business to me—it’s about building off of the local art and music scene and incorporating it into the motorcycle scene. And I guess the party was me making a move on that.

Nice. We look at our bicycles as pieces of art—the way people personalize their fixies and whatnot. Motorcycles—especially customs—are pieces of art too.

I think of these bikes as art that people are building in their homes or garages. I like being a part of that scene. It’s where I get the inspiration to build myself a custom bobber or chopper.

The party was a success, wouldn’t you say? Both kegs were killed and all the food was gone by the time the last band finished up.

The party was success in my mind even if there were more cars in the lot than motorcycles. The people that were here thoroughly enjoyed themselves and were appreciative of what I am trying to do down here.

I assume you look forward to having more events like this one.

I plan on having another party real soon. I want to do some art shows as well. Dirty Biker is not just a motorcycle shop to me—it’s an art gallery, it’s a music venue, and it’s a place to both give and receive inspiration.

Dirty Biker Motorcycle Shop
1117 Washington Ave S (Next to Grumpy's)
Minneapolis, MN

Shop Hours: Mon - Sat, 11am-7pm during the riding season.


























Dirty Biker Party, Dirty Biker Motorcycle Shop, Mpls, MN, 5/29/11