#RandomThoughts #Follow #SuckIt @ME

Crass + Basketball = Crassketball. Just invented that shit.

"Never count on anything when there is ribs and booze involved."

SNA>DEN: I always thought they didn't allow fat people into California. This must be the day they send the last of them back to Denver.

DEN>MSP: Headed back to Vikings country for Parkway Pizza and the warmth of my girlfriend's vagina.

Comfort! I meant comfort, not warmth. Damn autocorrect.  Come on, I'm not a creep like that.

If you ever catch me waiting in line all night for the #Cities97 Sampler, please punch my dick in it's face.

@FirstAvenue Oh look, its that one guy from that one local band that wears flannel and drinks PBR.

@FirstAvenue Oh look, its that other guy from that other local band that wears flannel and drinks PBR.

Sorry, DVD pre-movie warning, I have to disagree with you. Piracy is a victimless crime.

Over the weekend, someone actually named their child #hashtag. #funfact #theendisnigh

Parents say they named baby #hashtag cuz of their love of Twitter. If that's the case, my kids are named Malt Liquor, Cocaine and Anal Sex.

@tchoopsczar IMO, there is no amount of bad grades or disciplinary issues that can't be made up for by being really good at basketball.

How bout the guy in sec133 trying to pull off the Love jersey w/o a tee underneath?! You're not actually in the game, dude. #wolvesunited

David Stern = Dana White without the F-bombs.

Walking tacos? More like running tacos. If you know what I mean.

If you've ever wanted to simultaneously boost and lower your self esteem, I highly recommend the Burger King at the HUB in Richfield.

The Maple Grove team laughs in the face of the notion that your sock brand should match that of your shoe brand. #TipOffClassic

Love the poignant, albeit brief, and questionable, considering the setting, chant by the Apple Valley student section of "suck our dicks!" #TipOffClassic

Don't hate the player; hate the olive-green cardigan.

I will never get bartenders wearing shorts in the winter. I mean, I get it--its hot n shit behind the bar--but like, it's rape to my eyeballs.

Suck it, Texas; suck it! #SkolVikings for life!

Should I be concerned about my lack of weed smoking? I feel like I'm not fully appreciating those old Quasimoto records the same way.

She's not anorexic, she's a hooker.

You can tweet stats all you want. If you want to know who needs a haircut or a tan or has the best unies, I'm the guy. #timberwolvesshootout

Every time I see that Bud Light commercial with Pitbull I am reminded that Pitbull is a thing that actually exists.

#gophers #northwestern Does Tubby Smith's mustache have its own Twitter account yet?

@AKATheMaskedMan Watching #wweraw on DVR, wondering...do Antonio Cesaro's nipples have their own Twitter account yet?

Tweeted Bill to see how Hilary's head is. He said it's OK but not as good Monica's.

This just in: General Mills inks multi-million dollar sponsorship deal with NBA. HoneyNut Cheerios to be first on-jersey advertisement.

For the record, my wife does taste like #HoneyNutCheerios. Just kidding. That's gross. I mean, I'm not even married.

Follow Nathan on Twitter @OMG_NOB.  Follow-backs promised, because that's like, important and stuff.

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