Scene Report: The Dwarves Live at the Triple Rock Social Club

The Dwarves live, Triple Rock Social Club, Mpls, MN, 8/18/11
When Dwarves lead singer Blag Dahlia told the audience at the 3-Rock tonight that, "Rock legends stand among you" I thought to myself, Okay, so he knows the Dirty Biker and I are here, but who else is he talking about?  No, srsly.  After 25 years of pounding laughable statements like, "the Dwarves are the greatest rock & roll band in the world" into the heads of gunk punkers and sleazebags the world over, Blag Jesus' over-inflated ego might actually be justifiable.  Not just because of his relentless dedication to tall tales, bold statements, and songs about sodomy, but because their latest release, The Dwarves Are Born Again (and I know I've been saying this about a lot of records lately) is one of the better albums to come out this year.  And they are backing that up with a great live show, even in the absence of (for the third time in the TC in a row, I might add) the mysterious axe-wielding luchador known as Hewhocannotbenamed.  Also missing was bass player Nick Oliveri AKA Rex Everything.  He's got a good excuse though; he's too busy having standoffs with police and shit.  The set was a mix of classic jams from albums like Sugar Fix, Thank Heaven For Little Girls and The Dwarves Are Good Looking and a healthy dose of stuff from Born Again.  To my surprise and delight they even played a couple from The Dwarves Come Clean, including "There Better Be Women"--a song in which, Blag The Ripper professes, "I don't party with just anyone.  There better be women."  In the bar after the show we would learn that is not just something he wrote a song about.  He had no interest whatsoever in speaking with the dudes that would approach him, but he worked hard, and I do mean hard, at picking up the chicks...young chicks.  In particular, a quartet of crusty bicycle babes sitting next to the Dirty Biker and I.  Anyway, the show was good but I was kind of hoping for some violence.  Not the kind where anyone gets seriously hurt or anything; but you know, maybe some pushing and shoving, someone gets a bloody nose, someone gets thrown out, some broken glass, etc.  In between conversations with our new friend--an energetic barber shop owner from Lakeville--and trying to navigate the drink-getting pecking order of the bar staff, we had good laughs at the expense of the lead singer of Nashville Pussy.  Let me tell you, that dude is pathetic.  Kind of like his band.  Kind of like the opposite of the Dwarves.  Then we drunkenly stumbled down the block to the Cabooze, where we snuck in for the last song of George Clinton and P-Funk.  My gawd, what a bunch of snoozefest going there.  Pretty much exactly like the opposite of the Dwarves.