Oh, there you are

Dear BikeNewBlack, I guess the jokes on me

Dear BikeNewBlack,
I have a large collection of gay porn. Do you want to cum over and watch some with me?

Dear Mr. Dover,
Clever choice of words. December doesn't look good. Let's schedule something for early next month.

Dear BikeNewBlack,
Do you collect anything?
-Curious Jorge

Dear George,
Besides gay porn, no.

Dear BikeNewBlack,
If you fall, I will catch you. I'll be waiting, time after time.

Dear Ms. Lauper,
If you're lost, you can look and you will find me. Time after time.

Dear BikeNewBlack,
I'm a vampire. I want to suck your blood.

Dear Fang,
Love the name. December doesn't look good. Let's schedule something for early next month.


Please tell me, where did you go?

If you insist on getting me gifts...

I mean I know it's Christmas and I have a birthday coming up and all that but really, its not necessary. I really don't need much. I guess if you're still not taking no for an answer then, gift certificates are always nice. Plus they are easy to mail, so if you must...book or record stores, Starbucks, Whole Foods or art supply stores. If your looking to get me more material items...a Clash tee shirt (size XL), a subscription to Maximum Rock-n-Roll or Thrasher magazines, Vans slip-ons (plain print, any color that's not ridiculous, size10), or ROH or PWG wrestling DVDs.


"I turned my back on society the day society turned its back on me...

...got any spare change?"

On one side of the street this...

...and on the other, this...

Like literally right across the street from each other. On Sunday, both of us were a little depressed about Randy losing to Brock the night before. We still managed to pull ourselves together and head to Venice for the afternoon, knowing that would surely lift our spirits.

Ahhhhh, the Venice Beach boardwalk. Believe it or not, I had never been to Venice until yesterday. One would think that I guy like me would've been there long ago.

This guy was dancing to some techno and yelled "Hey gringos, ayaihyai" or something at us.

The first thing we ate were 1 dollar hot dogs, of which Dan was not a fan. I went for some teriyaki a little later.

I was hesitant as to whether or not I should get this because of possible, shall we say, side effects. ahem. Dan said he'd rather shit his pants and continue to walk the boardwalk than use the Venice Beach public restrooms. I gambled and went for the teriyaki anyway. Happy to report I did not have any complications.

Dan opted for the trusty Gyro.

If I could have gotten a front shot of this guy, I'd be submitting it to Street Boners for sure.

This place is freakin' sensory overload...and I like it.

We watched the roller skating dancers for about 20 minutes. Dan said he could have sat there all day.

The world-famous Muscle Beach. Only one dude was working out....and he was wearing a speedo. I think Hulk Hogan and Sting used to pump iron here.
Me and the Master of Disaster DP, hangin' out front of the Venice Skate Shop. While we were walking around, perhaps inspired by my surroundings, I mentioned how interesting it is all the life choices one can make. Dan bluntly responded. "Yeah, and then, 30 years later, you're still on Venice Beach." Just then this guy rolled by on a scooter.

I never would have thought that the Run DMC shirt would have caused such a ruckus. But right when we had had enough and decided to leave, we were approached-hassled is more like it-by a crew of dudes trying to get us to buy their "self-produced, independent hip-hop" CDs. When I refused, they berated me, calling me a poser for wearing a Run DMC shirt and saying "this nigga don't know nothin' 'bout hip-hop." Oh man, I had to hold back. I decided to laugh it off instead. But seriously, I probably had 10 years on these kids. Trying to tell ME I don't know hip-hop, sheeeeeeit.

After that, we went to the grocery store to prepare for tonight's BBQ feast.

Dan's famous ribs.

Washed down with a shit-ton more Coors Lights of course, per our agreement to pound several cans a beer each night. Then the jacuzzi once again.
Dan gut.
I don't think I have mentioned my two pals for the week, Dan's roomies Bogey and Tiger. They cuddle together, which is unbelievably cute. Yesterday, after enjoying a Double-Double, "animal style", at In & Out Burger, I hopped on a plane home and crashed the eff out. As we landed the pilot came on and announced "Welcome to Minneapolis everyone. The temperature is 19 degrees." A loud, collective moan erupted from the passengers. Fuck yeah, I'm home...and now I got a damn cold.