Reader Submitted Content: Flat Track Roller Derby

Not wanting to go alone, I decided to skip the Capital Hill Block Party in Seattle. Instead, I went to the Bellingham Roller Betties HOT SUMMER FIGHTS Championship Game!!!

Two bouts total. The first one was Team Flash vs. The Jet City Hula Honeys, which were visting from Everett. Hula Honeys won. There was a Micheal Jackson inspired half time performance, on skates, by Scott SLAMilton, the Team Flash coach.

And in the Championship Bout: Tough Love vs. The Cog Blockers. Tough Love were victorious.

For the most part, I watched from the beer garden, which was sponsored by Boundary Bay.

Hot chicks in miniskirts and roller skates weren't the only ones going to war that night. There was also a mental collision between opposites, as I was drinking both Boundary Bay ESB and Rainer, from the taps.

The bathrooms were hockey arena style. It was the Sportsplex after all.

I ran into a few friends, including Big Vince.

The crowd, exactly as I had predicted, was not unlike that at an indie professional wrestling event.

After the games I made my way through the Hula Honeys blockers and went one-on-one with new crush and Hula Honeys jammer, Re-AnimateHER. (Updated with link.)

These girls can skate, and beat each other up while doing it. I would go again.



Dan's BBQ

Dan, who is on his tenth year of living in California, was back in MN this week. He assembled a handful of old-timers for a beer party, as he is won to do, at his sister's place in the burbs. We got so wasted on beer, man. Man, we were doing beer all night.

Eden Praire, MN~7/25/09



...The flappers at Colossal Cafe are delicious. However, they make them with so much yeast that you need to brush your teeth with Monostat 7 when you're done eating...

...I made myself LOL at that one^^...

...She's at it again. Twitter Abuse 2: Srsly? ...

...Mini Dear BikeNewBlack, :
Dear BNB, I'm moving in with my gf. Got any advice?
Dear Dipshit, Funny you should ask. The one thing-like the most important thing-above all the other less important things-like communicating, back rubs, flowers, keeping a clean house, going to bed at the same time, cuddling, watching chick flicks, etc.-the one most important thing that must be done when you move in with your gf is to make sure that when you fart, it really counts. You don't want to wear her out with piddly little farts. Never, ever let her hear or smell a mediocre fart. When you're around her, only the most incredible, ear piercing, pungent, wretched, that's-gonna-itch-when-it-drys-type farts are acceptable. You're going to get scoffed at anyway, so make it worth it.

...Photo battle: Bird on a Wire vs. The Cat's Meow ...

...I'm going to the Twin's game tonight with Dan, where he will eat his 24th hot dog in the span of a week...

...In other news...


Rob's Party

One time when I was a young kid, like maybe the summer between seventh and eighth grade, I was at this parade in Rexburg, Idaho with my dad. I saw something that day that has stuck with me ever since. That something was an old, hunched over, slow moving grandpa. Not just your run-o-da-mill old, hunched over, slow moving grandpa though. This particular old, hunched over, slow moving grandpa was wearing a MOTLEY CRUE TEE SHIRT~! Anyway, sometimes I wonder if I'll end up being that guy...except, without the Rexburg, Idaho part.

Maple Lake, MN~7/18/09


Reader Submitted Content: Dear BikeNewBlack, Online Communities

Sometimes when you put your email address on the Internet and ask people to send you questions or other content that you will subsequently post on your blog, you get something that is technically one thing but in all reality, due to its fantastic nature, should be considered the other thing.

Dear BNB,

Knowing that you are a 21st Century Digital Boy, could you please enlighten me as to the joys/desperation of on-line social networking! I do not have a Facebook or MySpace account and I would certainly have no idea where to start when it comes to Twitter. I'm definitely not ready to suckle the "Sweet Cream of the Twitter-Teat". It's not that I'm technologically illiterate, I simply made the decision to become a conscientious objector. I should probably qualify my opening statements by reminding you that I am also the same individual that purchased his first cell phone within the last month and lost his "text-cherry" to BNB. And I didn't even get dinner first! So in the nature of full disclosure, I'm not immune to becoming a follower.

So I feel as if I have reached a turning point or boiling point if you will. Why is it that whenever I see someone from The Glory Days, inevitably the conversation devolves into back-handed comments about my non-participation in the Facebook Community? Usually this comes from a Facetard that I would never communicate with in the 3-dimensional world, but increasingly my real friends and family have joined the fantasy land that is Facebook.

Help! I am afraid that soon I'll be losing my real-friends to their new pseudo-friends and I don't have many to spare. Do I inform these Facetards that I am already "poking" people in the real world? I am also told that one can deny any friend request that is offered. Sounds passive aggressive to me. I guess I will always prefer to tell people in person that I'm not taking friendship applications. The job has been filled. My question for you BNB is how best to respond to the requests to get my ass on Facebook?

-The Artist Formerly Known As Jackrabbit

This is so goddamn good that I would be committing a grave injustice by following it up with an answer...plus I don't have Facebook. Readers, take a stab at it if you want...