5/28/10

Angels

Recently, it was brought to my attention by a friend that I’ve been taking pictures for a long fucking time. Not necessarily good pictures, but pictures nonetheless. Several stuffed-to-the-top plastic bins in my basement and countless zips, USBs, CDs, and parts of at least 3 different hard drives led me to this conclusion: what I do with a camera isn’t really art, but rather mindless obsessive-compulsive documentation.

Sometimes you’ve been pounding beers for several hours at a small town street dance and all you can see for miles and miles (or at least the square block radius in which the street dance is contained) are white people acting out in a way that made you smile for the first few hours but has now left you thinking you just might die if you have to answer one more question about your t-shirt, when you realize there must be a god after all because a ray of sunlight from heaven just glimmered somewhere in your peripheral and you’re like “Hey, I’m really sorry to do this, but I just, like, need to, like, go over there. I’m sure one of the other guys wearing a t-shirt just like mine can answer your question, but I, like, really, really need to, like, go over there and talk to those girls.”



So for five minutes, until their meth-smoking townie boyfriends pick them up in a rusty Camaro, they let a quirky dude, who acts like they were sent from heaven to save his life, and his goofy hippy friend take pictures of them.



Do you think they ever wondered what would happen with those photos? Do you think they thought they would end up sitting in a plastic bin in the quirky guy’s basement for ten years and then end up on the internet? Who knows? And who knows what ever happened to these two. They are probably 26-28 yrs old now. I can only hope they are having the time of their lives; as they should be. Anything else would be a shame.

Staples, MN, Summer '00.

5/27/10

Casual Fridays: Orange Avenue





Totes Quotes 5/27/10

"You know whats uncalled for? Ordering pizza online."
-DJ Morplay Katana

Graffiti Graveyard

Graffiti Graveyard, Duluth, MN, 5/22/10

















Tons of flicks. If this is your thing, hit me up at thee.n.o.b@gmail.com and I'll send you an invite to view them.

5/26/10

Totes Quotes 5/26/10

"We should get coffee this weekend. Or Indian buffet. Or beers..."
-J.Sho

"Add a dip of Copenhagen, and I'll have no choice but to congratulate you for inventing the perfect diarrhea sandwich recipe."
-BNB

5/25/10

I'm so bored with the P-U-N-K.

There is no such thing as an old punks, just old punk bands. I mean have you been to, oh, say, a Buzzcocks show in the last 10-15 years? No? Oh, well let me tell you about it…

Everyone is old; but not one of them is punk. Inevitably there is always some newer band opening that the old-timers have to suffer through because they arrived at the venue super early because the ticket said "doors @ 7"--because when you get old you’ve become conditioned, by several years of staying in watching primetime television and being in bed by 10pm for the news, to believe that everything starts on time--and now they are shocked that it looks like the Buzzcocks won’t come on until…what’s this?...gasp…9pm. And, oh my gosh, that opening band was just too loud. Between bands, the house DJs do their best to get some energy in the room; but to no avail. When they play Anarchy in the UK, slightly-interested-but-sort-of-tired mom leans over and says, “I remember this one; The Sex Pistons, right?” Less-interested-and-more-tired dad ignores her and checks his watch. When they play Iggy & the Stooges people start talking about how the whole tax system in the United States is set up to benefit those that own property. When they play Minor Threat or early Bad Religion they may as well be a teenager telling their parents they hate them because people are willing to throw them the car keys if they will just shut up for a minute and go to the mall already. Hell, when they play Judy Is A Punk, even the old guy in the Ramones t-shirt yawns. Then the Buzzcocks come on and just when you’re thinking to yourself hmmm, well I don’t really need to stick around just to hear their three good songs, one of those old not punk dudes that you met once grabs you and wants to buy you beers so you’ll listen to him talk about the housing market and how maybe starting the ocean on fire was a good idea because after all this oil spill is some serious shit. So you sort of 'get into' the show and pretend you’re listening to this not punk old dude because he’s buying you beers, and the Buzzcocks do their three good songs and you figure it’s a good time to repay the favor and get this guy a beer for once; but he declines your offer and tells you he’s had plenty and he’s tired and that he should have left a long time ago. It’s at this very moment that you realize that there is no such thing as old punks, just old punk bands. That, and that going to see old punk bands is what it must be like to watch Lost: slightly confusing, a little bit disappointing, but mostly just boring.

Totes Quotes 5/25/10

A couple weeks back I sent BNB an email titled Gay Unicorn with this link. Punctual fellow that he is, he just replied to me today.
"All unicorns are gay. Just like all girls are bisexual and all black men smoke menthols. Blame genetics."
-BNB
"That's not true. You just wish it was."
-Me

"Okay, not ALL unicorns are gay."
-BNB
-Doomgoblin
I'm Faster Than My Shadow



(ed note-I image searched "unicorn, bisexual, Kools" and this was the first pic that came up. ???)

Send your overheards, tidbits of advice, mini-musing, funny email exchanges, etc. to Totes Quotes at
bnb@hotdogdayz.com

5/24/10

Totes Quotes 5/24/10

Overheard at a pool party/BBQ this weekend.

"Remember that time our nipples touched?
-Straight Guy #1
"How could I forget? It was magical."
-Straight Guy #2


Send your overheards, mini-musings, and tidbits of advice to Totes Quotes at bnb@hotdogdayz.com

Blew Monday: Cuttin' Promos





5/23/10

Weekly Top Ten 5/17-23/10

Conan O'Brien's Legally Banned From Being Funny on TV live @ the Orpheum Theatre, Mpls, MN
Everything you could have wanted out of a Conan Show. The band (sans Max Wienberg) Triumph-the Insult Comic Dog, Masturbating Bear, Random clips of Walker Texas Ranger, rock-n-roll, a Brian Setzer cameo, an f-bomb-dropping Andy Richter and of course, the man himself, (and the more famous of two O'Briens in the house that night,) Conan. Commence hilarity.

This Heat-Deceit DL
A friend of mine turned me on to this one. She discovered it while Pandoraing a Suicide station. Interest in Suicide (the band, not the action) is hot right now thanks to MIA's sampling of an entire song. But that's besides the point. That point being that This Heat's Deceit is g-to-the-ood. It's like punk rock dropped acid and went to a party where 'world music' was being played on the stereo.

Urban Exploring in Duluth, MN
Saturday the HDD staff made a run up to Duluth for a day of checking shit out. Highlights include Graffiti Graveyard, Forgotten Park, Lester River, Enger Observation Tower, lunch at Hacienda Del Sol and retailing at Last Place On Earth and Electric Fetus.

Urban Bird Rescue
Friday night BNB rescued a fledgling sparrow from certain death in downtown Mpls alley. Saturday morning his loving gf and fellow do-gooder brought the now very resilient sparrow, named 'Birdis', to the Golden Valley Wildlife Rescue while he went to Duluth to check shit out.

Art Thievery

Boston Celtics
Up three games now on the Magic; and looking like the world champions of '08. Very real chance we could see the sweep tomorrow night. Shoutouts also to the Phoenix Suns for an impressive game 3 win over the Lakers tonight. Anybody but the Lakers, please.

Dub Police-Scion Sampler CD
This little gem came in a swag bag I scooped at the Scion Video Installation show at the Pink Hobo Gallery in Mpls a couple weeks ago. All tracks from the UK Dubstep label, Dub Police. 10 out of 7 times (you read that right) free comps are garbage; but not this one. Low end sub for your face.

Stranglers-Rattus Norvegicus cassette
First got into this one from my uncle who gave me a used copy on cassette when I was young and impressionable and just getting into punk rock. Recently was reminded of it when someone said 'summer' and 'bummer' in the same sentence. Been listening to it on the regular again ever since. It's like the Sex Pistols and the Doors shared needles over lunch break at an art school.

Warm Weather
Duh.

Air Conditioning
Can't fully enjoy one without a little of the other. Doctors recommend at least five to ten minutes of air conditioning every hour during the hot days. No arguments here.

5/21/10

Totes Quotes 5/21/10

After my friend Cy and I exchanged our customary greeting--the Stinger (AKA a really hard high five)--he commenced with the single most awesome sentence ever composed in the entire history of sentences...

"Dude, sweet, bro."
-Cyrus the Potter


Send your overheards, tidbits of advice and mini-musings to Totes Quotes at bnb@hotdogdayz.com

Casual Fridays: Piggyback Punks



5/18/10

Totes Quotes 5/18/10

"You know how people always talk about shedding their winter weight? That's bullshit. If you enjoy having fun; losing weight in the spring and summer is impossible, what with the beer drinking and BBQ and all."



"If you're staying in shape during these upcoming months; congratulations, you've invented a way to have a really bad time in really great weather."
-Iceberg


(Pics by J-Sho)

Send your overheards, mini-musings and tidbits of advice to Totes Quotes at bnb@hotdogdayz.com

5/16/10

Weekly Top Ten 5/10-16/10

Target Field, Mpls, MN
Twins Big Dog @Target Field
Iron Man 2-film
Futureproof by N. Frank Daniels
The Big Ginger @Kierens Irish Pub, Mpls, MN
The Clown Lounge @ the Turf Club, St. Pl, MN
Freaky Deaky on MTN 17, Mpls, MN
Barbecues
The Garden of Good & Evil @Inside Out Gallery, Mpls, MN
CokeWolf and Building Better Bombs live @Gastro-Whirl 2, Mpls, MN

5/14/10

Reader Submitted Content: Record Review

Dear HDD,
Hey there, it’s me again. I had another session with my therapist and he said the writing seems to be helping. So here I am again, this time with an album review. It’s my first one ever, but hey, you’re audience really seems to get me, so why not debut it for them, right? Right.



Japandroids-Post-Nothing

I got off to a bad start with these guys. At first I wanted to hate them because I’m a Japanther fan and these guys—being a another two man band with Japan in their name—were seemingly more popular and thus were a threat to my self-created indie cool guy world. Don’t worry, that doesn’t make sense to me either. I’m not even sure I’m the one that wrote it. I imagine it’s how Minneapolis-St. Paul people feel when the world goes gaga for Vampire Weekend; meanwhile Vampire Hands had been creating far more original music and for quite a bit longer. Anyway, a couple months ago I was a pubic hair’s width away from murdering the internets because it wouldn’t shut up about Japandroids. Then for some strange reason, almost as if I was being controlled by a mind not my own, I went out and bought Post-Nothing. Shit, it is good. In fact it’s a holy fuck kind of good.

I read somewhere that Japandroids were like a Canadian No Age. Well I can confirm that they do in fact sound almost exactly like No Age (not a bad thing) but I believe an argument can be made that Japandroids are the more California of the two. For one, they sing about girls, and to best of my knowledge Canadians don’t even like girls; they like hockey and mayonnaise. And everyone in California likes girls. Even girls like girls in California. Does No Age even have any songs about girls? It doesn’t matter; Japandroids has like a million.

Listening to Post-Nothing is like riding your bike to work on a sunny Friday morning and deciding that today is the day you’re going to stop being such a pussy about consequences and go ahead and finally fuck that chick from the office. Probably not in the office, but like later, after a night of boozing and possibly cocaine. I assume fucking her in the office would be too dangerous; but how would I know, I don’t even own a bike.

All I’m trying to say is it’s a really good record. No it’s not. Yes it is. It’s holy fuck good.
-Nathan

Casual Fridays: Professor Thesis



5/12/10

Totes Quotes 5/12/10

"Artist friends are like assholes, everyone has one; and what they produce usually stinks."
-Kitchen Critic #1

"And looks like crap."
-Kitchen Critic #2



Send your overheards, mini-musings and tidbits of advice to Totes Quotes at bnb@hotdogdayz.com

5/11/10

Dear BNB, Gluteus Racistus Maximus



Dear BNB,
Why do black dudes always feel the need to say something to me when they pass me on the street? I asked a friend and he said it was because I am a cute white girl with a big ass. Fair enough, I suppose, but why is it always black dudes and never white dudes or Asian dudes or Mexican dudes? Is it a cultural thing? Do I just not understand black culture? Am I racist?
-Little White Girl

Dear LWG,
For the record, I’m like so totally not racist that I just read this as dudes, dudes, dudes, dudes and dudes.

LWG, you seem to have more of a grasp on “black culture” than you think, as evidenced by the fact that you referred to yourself as a 'Little White Girl.' And just because you recognize racial stereotypes doesn’t mean you’re a racist. It just means that you’re aware of the differences in, well, culture. Just ask your friend. You know: the one that said that black guys holler at you because you’re a “cute white girl with a big ass.” I mean, that is a fairly common stereotype. As long as you’re not letting stereotypes affect your judgment (AKA prejudice), you’re in no real danger of being a racist. (And don’t let some uptight, guilt-ridden, uneducated fool tell you otherwise.)

Truthfully, a guy’s attractiveness to cute girls with big asses knows no racial boundaries.

Maybe the guys you’re passing on the street—that just so happen to be black—are taking a more direct approach than you’re familiar with. Because really, whether it’s a black guy asking when you’re going to let him hit it or white guy telling you that he likes your sweater, they’re essentially saying the same thing: “I’d like for us to make some sort of arrangement that would result in me fucking you. Preferably from behind, because I think you have a gorgeous butt.”

Trust me, it’s not a race thing; it’s a dudes thing.
Love,
-BNB

5/10/10

Totes Quotes

"If you can't help yourself from treatin' the ladies right, you might end up with too many girlfriends."
-The Darkhorse



Send your overheards, mini-musings and tidbits of advice to Totes Quotes at bnb@hotdogdayz.com

Blew Monday: Chicks, Dude.



5/9/10

Weekly Top Ten 5/3-9/10

Condominium-Gag 7inch
Raw Nerve-s/t
Black Devil-Disco Club
F.R.E.S.H. @Altered Aesthetics Gallery, Mpls, MN
Scion Installation 6: Video @Pink Hobo Gallery, Mpls, MN
Bowman & Dwitt's Gone Bye Bye @Nicademus Art & Framing, St.Pl, MN
Exit Through The Gift Shop-A Banksy Film
Huevos Pericos @Maria's Cafe, Mpls, MN
Anything James Franco
Mothers!

All of the great mothers of the world-past, present & future, Happy Mother's Day. We love you!

5/8/10

Event Reminder: GBB Opens 2nite!

Read about it here, here and here.

Gone Bye Bye
An Exhibit of New Work by Christopher Bowman & Dwitt
Opening Reception- Tonight (5/8) 7-11pm
Live Performance by 20 Dollar Love
Nicademus Art & Framing
225 N. Snelling Ave
St. Paul, MN 55104
651-207-8322

Sponsored by PBR
Show runs through June 19th.