A Fantasy Football Rookie's Journal:Let the Fun & Games Begin:a Effortless Approach to Trolling. Also, the Other Teams Are Named: Kinda Lame.

A Fantasy Football Rookie's Journal:
Let the Fun & Games Begin: a Effortless Approach to Trolling.  Also, the Other Teams Are Named: Kinda Lame.
By Nathan G. O'Brien exclusively for HotDogDayz

Dated: August 24th, 2012

Well it’s official; the league is set. The name of the league—which I will henceforth refer to as The League(1)—has the quarterback call “3—19” in it, which I’m fairly certain is a Green Bay Packers call. I know Brett Favre used to use it, and now Aaron “Discount Doublechoke” Rodgers uses it. This should come as no surprise whatsoever, as I mentioned in my first post that all nine of the other players in the league are rural Wisconsin residents. Whatever, I’ll let it pass, as some battles are not worth fighting. That’s why, aside from the “Doublechoke” joke I just made about Rodgers, I’ll most likely refrain from exchanging insults with these guys as it regards to Vikings/Packers beef; instead keeping it all within the realm of, ah, fantasy. As someone who lives in a city that is seemingly as populated with Packer Backers as it is Vikings fans, its maddening having to put up with incessant unprovoked trash talking all season. I prefer to keep my mouth shut until the end of the season and see who has that last laugh. Like last year—even though the Vikings didn’t have a great season, when the Packers lost in the playoffs, we all sort of won. Skol Vikings for motherfucking life!  The end. OK, now back to the topic at hand…

As I was saying, The League is set. And here are all of the team names, followed by brief commentary courtesy of yours truly:

Team McConnell (Boring.)
Village Idiots (Eh, whatever. Probably vindictive of rural WI as a whole.)
Off Constantly (I bet he is.)
Becky’s Landing Strip (I’m assuming Becky is the wife/GF of one of the other dudes and this is a shot at him. I can totally get behind this…that’s what she said.)
Team 5 (Wow, creative.)
Amish Rake Fighters (A reference to an Internet "sensation" circa '06.  Edgy.)
My Sugalumps (A reference to Flight of the Conchords circa '09.  Whatevs, at least it’s something without “team” or a last name in it. And with that, we have…)
Team Dundus (Please see Team McConnell)
Lil Young Black Teens With Guns (Hey—that’s me! Where my real Gs at!)
Ching Chime (Can’t tell if this is racist or not. Wait, does asking that question make me a racist? Oh, never mind(2))

Via more emails, the trash talking has started already and the draft isn’t until tomorrow. The Commish started by calling everyone but me [the 3-letter homophobic slur that stars with an F] and saying stuff about their mothers. He told everyone I was a “Fantasy Football rookie” (which I am) and that’s why he was going easy on me. Well, I can't have that happening.  So this was my reply:

Going easy on me huh. Too bad I didn’t go easy on your mother last night. I can't wait to put minimal effort into this and see what happens. I may be a Fantasy Football rookie, but I'm a seasoned veteran when it comes to calling people [the 3-letter homophobic slur that stars with an F] on the Internet. I look forward to next several months of exchanging barbs with you [the 3-letter homophobic slur that starts with a G and also means “happy”] [rhymes with “block”] smokers. Peace out Girl Scouts.

A little on the childish side, I know, but when in Rome, or in this case, on the Internet...  Like I said before, by any means necessary.  And if that necessary means is stooping, then stooping it will be.  Besides, like I also said before, this is fantasy.(3)  Then later today, we got an email about the draft:

Saturday, 6 PM at Ready Randy’s if we get enough dudes.

To which I replied:

Someone actually named a place "Ready Randy's" huh. What, "Magic Mike's" was already taken? Something tells me you pretty boys won't have any problems getting enough dudes.

Again, pretty basic stuff, but whatever, that's the approach I'm rolling with for now.  I'm clearly here for the fun & games; not the fun and games.  Of course, it’s inevitable that I will at some point have to go to The Commish's house for a league get-together or burn party or a tire fire or whatever they do in rural WI, and I will run into some these guys from The League and possibly have to explain myself, but I’ll deal with that when it happens. I might have to put some sort of I-was-craving-acceptance spin on it to keep from getting my ass kicked.  So far Fantasy Football is more than I could have hoped for.  And that basically boils down to this: under the guise of web-based anonymity it’s kind of fun being an [rhymes with “bass mole.”]

(1)-Yes, I realize this is totally unoriginal, considering there is a television program called The League which is indeed about a Fantasy Football league.  But that show is pretty good, and honestly, part of the reason I joined my The League.

(2)-Turns out it is the name of a song by some dude that was in some band but is now solo...or something like that.  I'm actually kind of disappointed it isn't racist.  But on the other hand, I hate Nu Metal almost as much as real/non-ironic racism.

(3)-Does this mean my fantasy is to be a big homophobe?  No.  Fantasy basically means fake, so, like, don't read anything into it—it's fake.


A Fantasy Football Rookie's Journal:The How and Why of Suckering Oneself Into Joining a League and Subsequent Choosing of a Team Name

A Fantasy Football Rookie's Journal:
The How and Why of Suckering Oneself Into Joining a League and Subsequent Choosing of a Team Name

By Nathan G. O'Brien exclusively for HotDogDayz

Dated: August 17th, 2012

Fantasy Football. Hurmpffffffff. Whatever. Or at least that’s how it was for me up until I went and did a stupid think like accidentally getting myself into a league for the upcoming season. To explain this story in detail would be certainly as confusing to the reader as it was to me exactly one second after it happened. The short version is this: A couple weeks back, poolside over some strong but tasty bloody Marys, a man—whom I will hence forth refer to as The Commish(1)—and I had a nonchalant conversation in which his question of whether or not I play Fantasy Football, was followed up by my patented sorry-to-disappoint-you reply (scruchy face, head shaking, silently mouthing “No”) and somehow, despite my better judgment, ended with me signing up for an ESPN fantasy account when I haphazardly misunderstood “new league” as “league of new players.” Basically, I volunteered myself—or perhaps, forced an invite upon myself, (that part remains unclear) which I promptly accepted—to join The Commish’s newly created league when I thought I was joining a league specifically for would-be fellow first timers.

So a week later I realized the reality of what I’ve gotten myself into, when a string of emails from The Commish and eight other dudes—all seemingly seasoned vets of the fantasy sports world, none of which I have ever met, but who all seem to know each other; united by a shared propensity for using homophobic slurs when addressing each other—arrived in my inbox with intent to hammer out the details of how the league will work. Some of the technical jargon made absolutely no sense to me (we’re forgoing the traditional “snake draft” in favor of an “auction draft”, it might be a “keeper league”, etc.) while some of inaner recommendations found me thoroughly enthusiastic (shit talking amongst team owners is highly encouraged, your-mom jokes are totes acceptable, etc.) Rather than chime on something I have no idea about, and admittedly, little interest in, I decided to remain silent on the sideline until all the specifics were in place. Instead I quickly got busy with the important stuff like trying to come up with a team name.

Once I was logged into ESPN, the first thing I tried was Bloods & Crips Bangin’ on Wax but it was rejected.  Apparently you can’t use gang affiliations as part of your name, even if said name is a reference to a series of gang-unifying rap tapes from the early ‘90s.(2) They wouldn’t let me have my preferred profile name either, which was Lil Young Booboo Trill-Da Thug Killa—an ill-fated attempt to use as many trap rap clich├ęs as possible in a singular name. Thwarted by ESPN’s conservative guidelines, I was forced to trim the fat a little and settle on Lil Young Trill—Da Thug. Apparently you’re not allowed to use “killa” or anything that has “boob” in it. (Come to think of it, it’s probably this exact type of tomfoolery [aka self-sabotage] that is the reason Grantland [an ESPN spinoff] has repeatedly ignored/passed any of my past submissions.) I wish I would have recorded the phone convo I had with the women at ESPN when I was trying to figure this all out. Yes, I literally had a phone conversation with ESPN, in which my thirty-something white boy ass had to spell out “L.I.L. space Y.O.U.N.G. space B.O.O.B.O.O. space T.R.I.L.L. dash D.A. space T.H.U.G. space K.I.L.L.A.” repeatedly to a nice women that, if I had to guess, was mid-twenties and black. We went round and round until she explained to that I would have to drop the “booboo” and the “killa.” I was laughing with her; she was laughing at me. Anyway, I briefly toyed with the idea of Da Meth Dealerz or Juggalo Meth Headz before deciding on what is quite possibly the best team name ever: Lil Young Black Teens With Guns. A hat tip to not only YBT(3) but to the time honored gangster rapper tradition of carrying a gat. 

A little backstory so that you don’t think I’m a total weirdo/racist/meth user etc. As I mentioned, aside from FBL, I don’t know any of these dudes, but a little research (Google/White Pages/Facebook, etc.) shows they all live in like, rural Wisconsin or somewhere where it’s safe to assume they don’t care for minorities or hip-hop or whatever but possibly cook and/or deal and/or do methamphetamine. So that, combined with their aforementioned proclivity for referring to each other via various derogatory terms for gay men, and my penchant for lowbrow humor paired with a natural tendency to antagonize, well, pretty much anybody, I decided I have a justifiable enough cause to fuck with these guys by any means necessary. In short, I’m basically going to troll them—in an online environment of course—over the next few months. And it all starts with my team name. Plus, it’s called “Fantasy” Football, and, well, in a fantasy I can be Lil Young Trill—Da Thug if I want. And In fact I can have a whole team of young black teens with guns…and they can be “Lil” if I want them to be!


(1)-Not only because he resembles a The Commish-era Michael Chiklis, but because he is also the commissioner of the league.

(2)-Actual gang members from both sides auditioned on a tryout and the best ones were chosen for the project. The album was released in 1993 on Dangerous Records and was a success selling over 500,000 copies. There is also another album from the Bloods and the Crips Bangin on Wax project titled The Saga Continues, which was released in 1994.

(3)- Young Black Teenagers was an early '90s rap group, that despite their name, had no black members. They intended their name as a tribute to the black culture they were influenced by, but that didn't work out so well for them.  Naturally, I'm expecting it will for me though.


Thee Algolake

Ships are kind of like trains on water, without the graff pieces or monikers & streaks. It would be cool to see a ship all aerosol'd and/or Markal'd up.

Duluth, MN, 8/19/12



Actual & Dim, Duluth

Still running...

Duluth, MN, 8/19/12


White Bikes, Seattle

Via RO'B...

Boren Ave & Pike St, Seattle, WA, 8/8/12


Record Review: Reks-Rebelutionary

Reks-Rebelutionary (Gracie Prods/MIM Ent.)
By Nathan G. O'Brien on Scene Point Blank

Reks continues to grow with each venture and that progression is again apparent on this record. Not only in terms of subject matter— verbalizing a vivid and bleak depiction of the current sociopolitical landscape; addressing among other things, institutionalized racism, wartime politics and government hypocrisy—but also in terms of breath control and album continuity. Rebelutionary shows Numonics and Reks synced up in seamless accord—a continuous stream of soulful beats compliments the emcee’s impeccable flow. Speaking in terms of aural pleasure, it sounds damn good.  ...continue reading full-length review here.


pro tool$

Deep in the Game
I Done Perfected My Moves
My Jewels Drip Like Ice
My Dogs Gettin' Rich Off White

Mpls, MN, 8/20/12




LORE, Seattle

As you may have heard on HDD Radio this week, our Seattle correspondent RO'B visited us to talk about, among lots and lots of other stuff, some his favorite graffilthy folks he sees around town.  Now back in Seattle, he was gracious enough to send in a few cellular flicks of one them--LORE.

Capital Hill, Seattle, WA, 8/13/12

Dexter Ave N, Seattle, WA, 8/13/12

Capital Hill, First Hill, Seattle, WA, 8/13/12
Send us your stuff at: bnb@hotdogdayz.com


"Hot Cheetos & Takis" Goes Viral, HDD Partially Responsible

Thanks Internet.  We asked, and you delivered.  Along with the Y.N. Rich Kids themselves, we were the first peeps to post "Hot Cheetos & Takis."  Then City Pages copped it from us, Aziz Ansari caught it, Rolling Stone caught it, and boom, shiz goes viral today!  The real credit though, goes out to these kids.  And don't you forget that!  Much respect.  SNACK~!


on the stereo

Oh, what's that, you're looking for music recommendations, old and new, and wondering what we--known taste makers and know-it-alls--have on rotation here at HDD HQ? Well thanks for asking. Here is list of some of CDs/records/tapes/downloads/etc. currently rocking the office stereo:

Brown Sugar--Sings of Birds and Racism
Crocodiles--Endless Flowers
The Cult--Ceremony
Dead Milkmen--Beelzebubba
Disparage--Retaliate demo
Domo Gnesis & Alchemist--No Idols mixtape
Fat Trel--Nightmare on E Street mixtape
Flatbush Zombies--D.R.U.G.S. mixtape
Gigs510--I Need Food, Swishers and Papers mixtape
Koko Beware--Something About the Summer
La Coka Nostra--Masters of the Dark Arts
Large Professor--Professor @ Large
Masta Ace & MF Doom--MA_Doom: Son of Yvonne
Mayhem Lauren--Respect the Fly Shit mixtape
Migraine--Four Humors 7"
Nu Sensae--Sundowning
Oiltanker--Shadow of Greed/Crusades
Public Image Ltd.--This is PiL
Raw Nerve--Midnight 7"
S.F.S. (Skating For Satan)-demo
Show & AG--Preloaded mixtape
The Smiths--Meat is Murder
Smoke DZA--Cuz I Felt Like It EP mixtape
Smoke DZA--Rugby Thompson
Sonic Youth--Sister
Suicide--First Album
Triumph of Lethargy Skinned Alive to Death--Some of Us Are in This Together
Void--Sessions: 1981-'83
White Lung--Sorry
Y.N. Rich Kids--"Hot Cheetos & Takis"
...and a whole buch of Boot Camp Clik

As well, you can always click the "music" tag/label thingy to see our past posts on tuneage.


HDD Radio #8: RO'B From Seattle

For this episode of HotDogDayz Radio we sit down with HDD Seattle correspondent RO'B to talk about the past 10+ years of living in the Pacific Northwest. Topics include: Portland, Vancouver, Bellingham, Seattle, the Olympics, bar fights, graffiti, sports allegiances, bootlegging the Capital Hill Block Party, meeting "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, and other stuff. Lots of talk and some music.

Murder City Devils - Every Day I Rise
Don't Talk To The Cops - Murder Burger Official Motion Picture Trailer
Don't Talk To The Cops - Murder Burger (feat OC Notes & Rachel Ratner)
Scribes - Shinin' Bright
Baltic Cousins - Holy Stones
Skarp - Souless
SpaceGhostPurrp - Bringing the Phonk
Rabbit Ears - For and Against

Subscribe in iTunes. 

Please let us know what you think!

Correction: The Colonel DeBeers character was supposed to be from South Africa, not South America.  DeBeers, real name Ed Wiskoski, is indeed from Portland.

Minnesota's current professional soccer team is the Stars.  The team that worked out at the same gym as me was the Thunder.

The Spring Break photos that RO'B sent in can be found here.  And the Olivian photos he sent can be found here.

Below is the Cold Killer cover of the Stranger that we talked about.  (It was September of '04, and I was in Seattle for the Beastie Boys To The 5 Boroughs tour at Key Arena.) Following that are some other pics of Seattle graffiti that RO'B mentioned.  He didn't flick them himself though--we stole 'em from the Internet.


Video: Y.N. Rich Kids "Hot Cheetos & Takis"

Yo, Internet, let's blow this shiz up!  And someone call my moms--I need a ride to the store for some snacks like, now!

For more info:  http://ynrichkids.com/

PS-See, we can be family friendly too.


it just keeps on rollin'

Comin' back through again, and on it's way out...

Mail artists holla at us: bnb@hotdogdayz.com


Lunch Break at Target Feild

Lunch Break: 30 mins
Scalper Tix: $5
Twins Big Dog: $5.25
Diet Pepsi: $6
Lunch w/ Freinds & Family: Pricless
Cheesy Lists Like This: Cheesy

Target Feild, Mpls, MN, 8/1/12