Best of 2009: Music

On second thought, perhaps Raekwon's Cuban Linx 2 wouldn't be best album this year.  Seeing as how Kylesa put out Static Tensions and all.  And then there is Psyched To Die's Year One compliation.  Shows?  Shit, I saw Murder City Devils reunion four times this year...in four different cities (A bit excessive, to say the least.)  The last of which, was in Mpls and ended with just enough time to make it across downtown to the aforementioned Kylesa.  Which was the second time-this year-I'd hear them live (counting a sound check--heard, standing in the rain, across the street from the Fine Line)...but the first time I'd actually see them.  Speaking of shows on the same night at different venues: Cage and No Age.  No Cage, naturally.  Did it.  Anyway, fuck rankings; lets just do this A to Z...

Records, CDs, downloads, etc.
Bastard Sons of Bukowski/ Bring That Shit-split
Cage-Depart From Me…
Cage-I Hardly Knew You ep
Cave Singers-Welcome Joy
Coke Wolf-One ep
Condominium-Barricade b/w Big Plans 7"
Crocodiles-Summer of Hate
Dear Landlord-Dream Homes
Digital Leather-Warm Brother
Felt-Felt 3: Tribute to Rosie Perez
Jay Reatard-Watch Me Fall
King Khan & BBQ Show-Invisible Girl
Kylesa-Static Tensions
Loose Crew-Content By Volume
Modest Mouse-No One's First, And You're Next
Party Time High Five!/Terrordactyls-split
P.O.S.-Never Better
Psyched To Die-Year One
Raekwon-Only Built For Cuban Linx…Pt. II
Totally Harsh-demo

Shows, concerts, fests, etc.
Amebix-Triple Rock Social Club
Cage-Triple Rock Social Club
Dillinger Four-D4th of July-Triple Rock Social Club
Distortion Days Crust Fest-The Bedlam Theater
Dwarves-Triple Rock Social Club
Fucked Up-Triple Rock Social Club
Kylesa-Triple Rock Social Club, soundcheck Fine Line Music Club
Municiple Waste/Phobia-Triple Rock Social Club
Murder City Devils-The Showbox, Seattle, WA-The Roseland, Porland, OR-w/The Dead Milkmen, Congress Theater, Chicago, IL-First Avenue, Mpls, MN
No Age-501 Club
Skitkids-Triple Rock Social Club

Blogs
Davis...Not Elvis (link)
Gimmie Noise 7" Review (link)

Old stuff on heavy rotation during '09
Black Flag-'82 Demos
Brother Reade-Rap Music
Butthole Surfers-everything between '84 and '88
Chain of Strength-The One Thing That Still Holds True
Cloak/Dagger-We Are
Cult Ritual-entire discography
Dios Mio-Prey to God 7"
Jay Reatard-Matador Singles '08
N.N.-s/t 7"
Needles-s/t 7"
Skitkids-Besoket Vid Krubban
Sonic Youth-Goo
The Bug-London Zoo
The Jam-Compact Snap
Just Ice-Back to the Old-School
The Replacements-everything between '81-'87
Tragatelo-s/t lp
V/A-Cleanse The Bacteria comp
Wolfpack (Wolfbrigade)-All Day Hell

 '09 Late pass (aka I want.)
Pissed Jeans-King of Jeans
Cloak/Dagger-Lost Art
Needles-Desastre 7"
La Coka Nostra-A Brand You Can Trust

zine two in production

in progress we regress.

cut-n-paste.

class war.

#2 soon.

two copies of #1 left. last chance. make it happen.

Best of 2009: Film

I went to enough movies last year that I should the have the same vitamin D levels as an overweight goth chick.  Of course I still didn't see every movie that came out, so if you're going to get all butt-hurt becasue G.I. Joe isn't on the list, take a moment to ask if I've seen it (I havn't) before you post insulting comments.  And don't even get me started on Avitar. 

Best Films (based on the typical reasons people like movies)
500 Days of Summer
Adventureland
Away We Go
Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Hangover
I Love You, Man
Inglourious Basterds
Sherlock Holmes
Star Trek
Sunshine Cleaning
Taking Woodstock
Up In The Air
Zombieland

Honorable Mention-The Informant, The Invention Of Lying, Last House On The Left, A Serious Man*, Taken, Whatever Works

Snoozefest (aka- did not like)
Public Enemies

Guilty Pleasure
Ninja Assassin

Did Not See But Want To
The Informers

Late Entry From Last Year
The Wackness

Best Theater (based on price, ambiance, and the all important: popcorn)
The Riverview, Mpls, Mn

Honorable Mention-The Heights, Columbia Heights, MN, The Grandview, St. Paul, MN

*updated

everybody's talkin' 'bout their short list (2009 Best Of preview)

As the two double aught niner comes to a close so comes the onslaught of Best Of lists. And of course I must fulfill my self-imposed contractual duties as a blogger and contribute to said onslaught.  It's no easy task, let me tell you.  (As well, this year were pulling double duty, as it's also the end of a decade.  Yikes!)

Inevitably, each year when I begin to compile my "short list"* I realize that a, I'm not exactly as on top of things as I'd like to think, and b, I might be losing touch.  Admittedly, I spent the first half of this year catching up on last year and thus missed crucial inclusions like the brilliant film The Wackness.  And shit, I still haven't heard Fucked Up's The Chemistry of Common Life.

So anyway, my full list will be coming in late this year...again.  But here is a preview...

Album
Raekwon the Chef-Only Built For Cuban Linx II- Not since El-P's 2007 masterpiece I'll Sleep When You're Dead have I considered a rapper for Best Album of the Year.

Film (U.S. Comedy)
Adventureland- This year it was all about The Hangover, which was great but I was able to connect with the characters in Adventureland on a more personal level.

Book
I Drink For a Reason- David Cross- Although I'm still reading it I'm fairly certain it's the only book released in '09 that I've even opened.  So there you go.

Emotional Investment
The Minnesota Vikings- It's been 11 years since I allowed them to do this to me, but Sweet Fucking Christ!  These guys are toying with my emotions like I'm the 9th grade nerdy girl that the hottest senior boy in school has been cheating on his prom queen gf with.

*I use quotations because nobody's, especially not mine, is actually ever that short.

Road Trip Record Reviews

A couple weeks back I took a mini road trip up north.  With me, I brought three brand new CDs for the ride.  In between thinking about how I totally missed the boat on cougers, I was writing little reviews in my head.  They are as follows:

AFI-Crash Love

Word on the street is that on AFI's most recent trip to the TC, vocalist Davey Havoc mentioned something about playing shows back in the day with (recently reunited) locals Assrash.  Not surprising, as on more that one occasion I've heard him lovingly recall the short-lived but impressionable local all-ages venue, the Foxfire Coffee Lounge.  I've always liked that about AFI; that despite their steady progression into pop music, they don't shy away from their punk roots and make an effort to keep connected to older fans.  However, Crash Love falls somewhere between trying too hard and not trying at all.  This shit is so clean you can smell Davey's body wash.  There is only one song-Medicate-where I said to myself "Damn, this fucking rips!"  Although, come to think of it, I was pulling into Tobies, so my excitement could have been more about the impending custard-filled doughnut than Jade Puget's guitar solo.  Anyway, I'm sure, like with most AFI releases, I'll learn to enjoy it the more I listen to it.  I should also note that even with his new haircut, Havoc has in no way compromised my man-crush.

Modest Mouse-No One's First, and You're Next

This is a collection of b-sides and outtakes from their last two releases-the breakthrough album Good News For People Who Love Bad News and the dissapointing follow-up We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank.   Similar to the aptly titled Building Something Out of Nothing, a previous collection of non-album tracks, No One's First and You're Next is fully capable of standing on its own as an album.  In fact it's actually quite a bit better than We Were Dead.  No One's First is the perfect early fall soundtrack for that stretch of highway that runs from Moose Lake, through Cromwell and Floodwood, up to Hibbing.  There are a few parts of the last song-I've Got It All (Most)- that sound exactly like every Public Image Limited song ever.  This, in my expert opinion, is absolutley not a bad thing. 

Raekwon-Only Bulit For Cuban Linx Pt. II

One of the things I love most about Raekwon and Ghostface-who, of course, is all over this album-is that they indulge the specifics of a story.  They won't just say a dude got murdered.  They'll give you a detailed description of how a shiesty muafucka who sold coke that was cut with too much baking soda was walking down a dirty street last winter, wearing baggy-ass sweats and fresh Nikes while eating lake trout with extra turkey grease from the corner store, got blasted with three shots by gun that already had two bodies on it that was purchased in a dingy basement in Brooklyn, and was then robbed of the re-up package that he had stuffed up under his North Face parka and left laying in a blood-soaked snow bank with a piece of half-chewed fried fish hanging still hangin' out of his grill.  Cruising through Nashwauk, with the widows down, and the bass cannon turned up on this thing, made me feel all warm inside; like a kid again.  (Yes, I have a bass cannon in my car.  Not by choice.  Long Story.  But it does come in handy when cruising through Nashwauk with the widows down, listening to Raekwon.) 

No Cage

What happens when indie music darlings from both coasts end up playing just blocks from each other in the same Midwestern city on the same night? Well it's sort of like a giant trash compactor trying to squeeze the Sovereign States of Flannel Shirts, Ironic Mustaches and PBR into a one-mile radius of United Hipsterdom. I figured there were two choices: jump in headfirst and go to both or lay in bed, wondering what I'm missing out on. Either way I'm not getting to sleep til after 1am. And it's a school night. Might as well make it worth it, right?

Cage, (along with Yak Balls) from NYC, set up shop at the Triple Rock, while No Age, from LA, held court at the new 501 Club...

Yak Ballz

Cage

No Age

...And yes, it was worth it.

This Is A Love Letter~The Best Of 2008!

Two and half weeks into the new year and I'm finally getting around to this. Personally, 2008 was a pretty good year. I'm not going to rehash it here; it's all in previous posts. One thing I've learned from reading other blogs (and taking advice from my own readers) is to keep it brief. Catering to short attention spans is crucial to maintaining an Internet audience. So with that, I'll just get started. By no means is this meant to be a comprehensive list. I didn't see a lot of movies this year and most of the music I bought wasn't from '08. Hell I didn't even read a book that I hadn't started the year before. Still, don't you dare, for even a second, think this is a weak list...

Best of 2008
Films
Pineapple Express...007: Quantum of Solace...In Bruges...Rambo (Panic-attack inducing gore. I suggest seeing it with a group of your buddies. And who doesn't love mercenaries?)...Slumdog Millionaire...Tell No One (US release)...The Dark Knight...Forgetting Sarah Marshall...Gran Torino (A little heavy on the racial slurs at times but all in the name of character developement.)...Indiana Jones & Kingdom of the Crystal Skull...Iron Man...Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist...The Wrestler (Best movie of the year, hands down. Rourke is back, and breaking your heart in nearly every scene.)

Pro Wrestling and MMA
The Figure Four Weekly/Wrestling Observer merger...attending the UFC live @ the Target Center...Edge & Vickie Guerrero...Faber vs. Pulver...Ric Flair retirement: match vs. Shawn Michaels @ Wrestlemania and subsequent ceremony on Raw...Knockout of the year: Rashad Evans over Chuck Liddell (Scary!)...Chris Jericho...George St. Pierre...BJ Penn...Frank Mir...Gina Carrano...Miguel Torres vs. Yoshiro Maeda.

Music
Baby Guts-The Kissing Disease CD...El-P & Dizzee Rascal @ Triple Rock...Doomtree-self titled CD...Cecil Otter-Yellow Rebel CD...Jay Reatard-Singles '06-'07 ('08 release) CD...Suicidal Tendencies @ Station 4 (There was a time in my life I thought I'd never see ST. Went with my uncle. Jason, Josh, Matty and Jack were all there, as was everyone in the TC you'd expect to be there. It was like a TC punk metal scenester reunion, spanning 3 decades.)...Big Business w/Melvins encore @ Triple Rock...Jake One-White Van Music CD...Triumph of Lethargy Skinned Alive to Death-Old Jail EP and Bird Songs LP (Everything they put out is just amazingly great.)...Jaguar Love-Take Me to the Sea...The Streets-Everything is Borrowed...Atmosphere-Sad Clown Bad Spring EP and When Life Gives You Lemons You Paint That Shit Gold CD (In all actuality, probably my least favorite Atmosphere albums. One of the best albums of the year, regardless.)...Chicago Apacolypticrust Fest II...Wild Billy Childish & The Musicians of the British Empire-Thatcher's Children CD...Dillinger Four-C I V I L W A R CD (The D4 is the kind of punk I don't really like anymore BUT I'll never not like the D4. This album makes it easy to skip all the Midwestern copycats and stick with the real thing.)...Against Me! & Ted Leo & the Pharmacists @ First Ave...Dillinger Four's D4th of July show @ Triple Rock...The Cool Kids-That's Stupid Mixtape...Desobediencia Civil-No Hay Libertad Sin Desobediencia CD (Actually an '07 release but I didn't get it until this year. It's so good, it would be a shame not to make the list.)...Beastie Boys @ Roy Wilkin's Auditorium (Greatest band in the world. Period.)

Miscellaneous
Art: Sword & Gnome show @ the Back Alley Gallery, No Easy Explanation: Dave Witt @ First Amendment, Mud On Your Face: Peter Jadoonath & Jason Trebs @ the Back Alley Gallery, ...Day Old: May Day Cafe, Moose & Sadie's...Breakfast: Seward Cafe...Latte'-St. Paul: Brewberry, Cafe Benne'...Latte'-Minneapolis: One on One Bicycle Studio, Anodyne...Appearance by a famous person at my work: T.I. (Charismatic, soft spoken, honest, knowledgeable and gracious. A real gentleman.)...Girlfreind: Courtney...Website: Street Boners & TV Carnage.com (Addicting.)..Shit story: Fleet Farm, as told by Matty...Coverage of The Fest 7: Loren from scenepointblank...Late Night Alley Party: behind One on One bikes on closing night of the Bicycle Film Fest...Graffiti: Danger, UC, TKG, CSE, Isaj, Yayo...Post game promo: Kevin Garnett following the Celtics championship win over the Lakers...Place to find great road-kill: Wisconsin highways...Bar: The Hexagon (Good bands, no cover, cheap drinks and great people-watching.)...President Elect: Obama...Fashion comeback: Flannel.

So that's about it...for now. I'll play catch-up on some of the stuff I missed and throw out an updated list later. As always, I'm gracious for anyone that has visited this silly little site. I always appreciate the feedback, even if you hate it. With the arrival of 2009 I've officially moved into a different marketing demographic. Apparently I'm not supposed to like wrestling or cool shoes anymore??? Whatever. I imagine you'll still be able to count on me when you need a fix of self-indulgent arrogant ramblings, punctuation misuse, pictures of me with food, or the world's shittiest advice column. And now the official unveiling of my newest moniker...

XOXO,

~King of Punk (Hey, I've earned it.)


Here's lookin' at you "kid."

R.I.P. EARL ROOT, 1962-2008

I am saddened to hear this.

I remember the first time I heard the Root Of All Evil. It was in March of either 1989 or 1990. Pat Harrington, Lee VanNyhuis and myself had traveled down to "the Cities" (with Lee's parents) for the Minnesota Boys Sate Basketball Tournament. On a late Saturday night we were laying in our hotel room-each of us with our Walkmans on. Being in the big city, and coming from the land of the horrendously bad WTBX, it was a requirement to scan the local radio stations. Mostly, because we were Bigfork High School's resident wiggers, it was hip hop that we wanted. So we'd tune in to "the Power Station", 89.9-KMOJ. Lucky for us (or at least me) just a few clicks away, at 90.3, we happened upon Earl Root and his band of misfits. These guys were jokingly talking shit on the metal that they were playing (a trend that I adopted while hosting a punk rock show-aptly titled 'Puke Rock'-many years later) and laughing at the drunkards that were calling in. I think we all landed on it at the same time but individually listened to it without letting the others know. Then, when we couldn't contain ourselves any longer, in unison, the three of us looked around at each other with facial expressions that were equal parts confusion, intrigue an disgust and someone spoke. The conversation probably went something like this:

"Dudes, are you hearing this shit?"
"Yeah. What the fuck is this?"
"What the hell are the callers saying?" (The callers would gargle same gibberish words over and over. I would later come to learn that this was affectionately referred to as a 'Gore Check.' I do not posses the literary skills required to explain it any more in-depth here, but if you ask me in person, I'll give you my best Gore Check and a proper definition of the term.)

I was aware of Speed Metal and crossover thrash, and of course I owned Metallica, D.R.I. and Megadeth cassettes. However that night was probably the first time I had ever heard Death Metal. I chose to hide the fact that I was fascinated by this show from my buddies and kept on listening while they probably tuned back to KMOJ. I've been listening to the Root Of All Evil ever since. Periodically, over the years, I'll throw in a blank cassette tape during the first hour and pass out on the couch. Later, around 4am or so, I'll wake up, flip tape over and hit record again. (That's when all the Black Metal gets played.) I still have all those cassettes. One of my favorites was one from the early 90's that was taped while Earl had the (long since defunct) local rap-rock band Mondo Trasho in the studio with him, taking phone calls from listeners. My brother and I damn near wore that tape out trading it back and forth. Some of my favorite parts of the Root were when Earl interacted with callers. And the man had unparalleled production skills, as evidenced by his on-air spots and promos. I have been disappointed in recent years that Earl has (understandably) been on the show less, but of course I've kept on listening...and will continue to do so. This week I'm going to dig out those cassettes and pay my respect to the man. Rest in peace Earl. "It's six, six, six big minutes past the big hour....."

At home he feels like a tourist: Best Of 2007~Part 3

...continued...Movie-Ian Curtis and Joy Division come back to life in the bio-pic Control. The film probably doesn't appeal beyond a small circle of people that are/were fans of the band, but it's pretty deec nonetheless...Concert-Apocolypticrust Festival. Karlos from Shamen Records organized 2 nights of crusty, thrashy, hardcore punk at the Black Hole in Chicago. My personal favorites were Appalachian Terror Unit, Riotous, Catheter, Protestant, Tierra De Nadie, and Coaccion...Movie-Superbad. Hi to the larious! Seth Rogan was hot this year. Knocked Up was good, but Superbad was outrageously funny. I laughed just as hard the second time, as I did the first. "McLovin!" And of course, how could you not love the awkward, nerdy, former George Michael, Michael Cera? He also does a great job in...Movie-Juno. Although it was really funny, what I really liked was the underlying story of a family that bonds together to make the best of an otherwise undesirable situation. And Ellen Page was fabulous too...Concert-The third annual installment of the Doomtree Blowout took over the main room at First Avenue. I personally could have used a little less Mictlan and Dessa and little more Cecil Otter and Paper Tiger. I was pleasantly surprised to see Jesse Greene (and her legs) make an appearance, as well as Crescent Moon. Unfortunately there only seemed to be one good mic working and POS had some technical difficulties that slowed down momentum. Overall though, it was still a hype night of local Hip Hop...Sport-Mixed Martial Arts have been steadily gaining popularity over the last few years, but the sport blew up in 2007. Pride FC bit the dust but numerous other promotions have popped up since then and MMA is all over television. IFL, Bodog Fight, EliteXC, K1, WEC and of course, UFC, all had TV this year...MMA Fights-Bisping vs. Hamil (UFC 75), Dan Henderson vs. Quinton Jackson (UFC 75), Randy Couture vs. Tim Silva (UFC 68), Randy Couture vs. Gabriel Ganzaga (UFC 74), Chris Horodecki vs. Shad Lierley (IFL 6/1) and Chuck Liddell vs. Wanderlei Silva (UFC 79)..Fighters-Quinten Jackson, Anderson Silva, Roger Huerta, Thales Lietes, Chris Horodecki, and Urijah Faber....Fighter of the Year- is a tie between George St. Pierre and Randy Couture. Even though GSP started the year with a surprise loss to Matt Sera, he still proved what a dominant fighter he is, in his wins over Josh Koshcheck and Matt Hughes. Plus I loved his pro wrestling style promo he delivered following his submission of Hughes for the interim welterweight title at UFC 79; saying he doesn't accept the title until he beats the real champion Serra. Couture gets it just because he is simply the best. He retires after a second knockout loss to Liddell in 06. A year and a month later, at 44 years old, he comes out of retirement, moves back up the heavyweight division and challenges Sylvia. Not only does he beat the taller, heavier, younger man, but he does so in a dominating fashion. Five months later, Couture does the same thing again, against Gonzaga (another larger, younger man) and retains his championship. He has since vacated the title because UFC is unable to sign Fedor Emilienko, quitting UFC while he's on top...CD-Against Me! released New Wave this year amidst crys of sellout from former fans. Having not really been a fan of them before, I was totally able enjoy this album. I had seen them once before, but didn't really familiarize myself with them until my brother burned me a copy of this. I have since checked out all of their old albums from the library. I don't listen to much "pop-punk" these days, and New Wave is a fairly polished album, compared to their previous releases. However, it is my introduction to the band and I like it...CD-Bad Brains~To Build A Nation. What can I say? I'm a Bad Brains fan. The reggae parts are superb. MCA, from the Beasties produced it...OK, that's enough for now. I need a break. This is exhausting. Stay tuned; the fourth and final installment is on the way...

At home she's looking for interest: Best of 2007~part2

...continued...CD-Brother Ali dropped The Undisputed Truth this year to rave reviews. What can I say that hasn't been said already? Believe the hype. I believed the hype a bunch of times. I don't have an exact number, but I know I saw Ali at least 3 times in...Concert-First Avenue twice. The first, for his amazing homecoming show, and again for the Paid Dues Festival tour, where he stole the show. He also headlined the Black Dog Coffee Block Party in Lowertown, St. Paul. Due to rain, the party was moved indoors to Station 4. It was hot and humid but that didn't stop the crowd from staying late for Ali. It was worth it. Also noteworthy, is the performance on Conan with Mint Condition as the back-up band. While I'm on the subject...Concert-Paid Dues Festival @ First Avenue. A literal who's who of indie hip-hop, including a rare performance by Slug and Murs as FELT. Also featured Cage, Brother Ali, Sage Francis, Living Lengends, Blueprint, Hangar 18, and many more...Movie-Darjeeling Limited. Immediately following the credits, my uncle Robert told my mother and I his impression of the film. "A family that smokes together, stays together." We laughed. Wes Anderson does it again...punk Concerts-As you probably already know, If you're a regular reader (or homie) of mine, one of my favorite things in the world is a good punk show. This year I was yet again privileged to see a bunch of bands from not only around the country, but from around the globe. Standouts include: La Fraction and Iskra @ the Triple Rock, Dropdead and Regulations @ the Bedlam Theater, and Stormcrow, Pisschrist and Wolfbrigade @ Memory Lanes...Art show-Ta-coumba Aiken @ Minneapolis Institute of Arts. Inspiring on so many levels...Bike Gang-The coolest bike gang in the city was formed over this past summer. We call ourselves The Coolest Bike Gang In The City. We are awesome. Our rides take us all over the city, lasting for hours, stopping for art shows, beer, pizza, ice cream, graffiti, whathaveyou. Speaking of...Graffiti-Last year it was the Eye. This year it's the Face. I'm seeing it pop anywhere form hidden drainage pipes to freeway overpasses. Of course Duece Seven was hot too. Besides bombing the whole city, as well as NYC, he had an opening at Soo Visual and press in the Village Voice, City Pages and Urban Decay. 27's wicked characters seemed to be everywhere. My favorite street art though, is the simple drips of solid colors that have decorated the short stretch of I94 between 35W and the Lowery Bridge. NYC had the Splasher this year, but the TC had, what I am calling, The Dripper. I love the simplicity of this particular "vandalism." It looks as though full cans of house paint have been dumped and allowed to drip all the way to the ground. Very similar but less deliberate the KR. (Shit, maybe it is KR?) I'm glad the city hasn't cleaned it up yet. I still need to get some pics...stay tuned. I'm only about half way through...

He fills his head with culture-He gives himself and ulcer:Best of 2007~part 1

~2007~
Hmmm, where to start? Well, I'll just say this: I liked 2007. Quite a bit actually. Aside from a few downers (panic attacks, the KG trade, the 35W bridge collapse, the passing of Mittens the cat), 2007, was for the most part, really good to me. Of course I "lost" a few peeps to new bf/gfs, marriage, new jobs, new locations, growing up, and mental illness. (Relax, it's all in good fun.) I aint mad at nobody though. People are people and they do what they gotta do. Besides, true friends will always come around again anyway. I thoroughly embrace the fantastic life that is being a single man in his early 30's. (Believe me; it's waaaaaaaay better than you'd think.) I met some great new people that let me into their lives. In return, I gave them a small glimpse into mine. (Sorry, I'm a selfish and guarded man.) I also reconnected with some old acquaintances and built new, (hopefully) lasting relationships with them. For that, I am truly grateful. Ok, fuck this self-reflecting bullshit. Let's talk about some wicked-awesome stuff. Ladies and Gentlemen, without further adieu, I give you the very best "best of" list you will see this year:
~HotDogDays!!!~Best of 2007~!
(part 1)
...let the ellipses roll...in no particular order...


"Miami Rain" via virtualmatter
Uploaded by virtualmatter

...Concert-Prince's performance at the Superbowl. I couldn't tell you who won the game, let alone who even played, but I will never forget the halftime show. I didn't make it to any of Prince's 3 concerts in 24 hours, this summer, here in the TC. Not without trying though. I cut in line for the First Avenue one, but as I got closer to the front, was kicked out, thanks to some vigilant folks that had been waiting since the night before. I didn't put up a fight. In fact I probably still could have gotten in, even if I went to the back of the line. However, I felt so shitty about trying to cut in on people (and getting caught,) that I made myself go home. Anyway, the halftime show was so good, Prince ran a commercial during the Grammys, thanking everyone for watching it. How weird slash cool is that?..CD-Representing Seattle and Oldominon: Greyskul's second Rhymesayers release Bloody Radio. Still rockin' it on the regular...Movie-Before the Devil Knows You're Dead. Opening the film with a shot of a butt-naked, fat Philip Seymour Hoffman doggy-styling Marisa Tomei is a nice touch. As are Tomei's pencil eraser nipples. I went with my mom. A little uncomfortable. But nowhere near the time we went to a play together that was acted out almost entirely in the nude with multiple simulated sex scenes. Anyway, this movie was dark, twisted, and uncomfortable and I liked it. Plus, who knew Ethan Hawke could still act?...Movie-Blades of Glory. A Will Ferrell composite character plus Napoleon Dynamite plus sequined figure skating outfits equals good comedy. I'm not sure if the two girls I went with were laughing at the movie or laughing at me, laughing at the movie?...Bar-The Cedar Inn. Yes, I put a bar on the "best of" list. This south Mpls place is a little jem. Checkerboard racing flags are used as table cloths and pictures of bikers and their Harleys line the walls. Beer is super cheap and the staff is so trusting that sometimes you may have to remind them that you have a tab at the end of the night. And the regulars; oh man. There is the foul mouthed daughter of the owner, the heavily bearded, poopy smelling man in a conductors hat that only comes in an hour before close, and the guy who claims he's not a racist but always refers to non white people as "the blacks." The coolest guy I've met there is a gentlemen whose last name is Kraft. He and his wife bought me and my friend a couple beers before showing us his tattoo. It's the Kraft cheese logo on his bicep! That so rules!...to be continued...

Serpents Por Manos: Chicago-Day 2

Saturday I wake up around 8am when Joe gets up to go to work. I think I started napping somewhere neighboring 3:30 am. I try to sleep as long as I can but my raging piss-boner forces me out of bed. After relieving myself of last nights beer and pizza, I take my time lounging around, trying to watch cartoons, thinking that will cause me to drowse some more. No such luck. Awww fuck it, four and a half hours sleep should be good right? Joe has left me a couple love letters telling me not to cum on things, which buses to take and demanding I eat some breakfast. So I do. Blueberry crunch and soy milk. Mmmmmm yummy. After a shower, I explore his neighborhood which seems to be primarily Hispanic and jump on the bus to Lincoln Park. It’s hot as a fuck and I’m wearing the tightest pair of jeans I own. Swass commence. I wonder aimlessly around, realizing I must be near a college campus. Yup, DePaul. I think Bobby Hurley’s brother Danny played ball here in the 90’s. I eventually find myself some lunch at a place called the Hoagie Hut or something. I get the special. Two Chicago Dogs, fries and drink for 5 bucks. Hold the relish. Not a bad spot to do some people watching except just about everybody looks the same. College “dudes” wearing cargo shorts and polo shirts (They must not know I declared cargo shorts dead this year) and alumni jocks with Dockers and polo shirts. At least most of the women are somewhat scantly clad and if not, at least have a fashion sense. Nobody seems to know where a cool record store is or even where any record stores are. Perhaps there just aren’t any in Lincoln Park. It’s so uncomfortably hot but I know where it will be quite a bit cooler. After getting pointed in the opposite direction two different times, I make my way to the shore of Lake Michigan. (I found that overall, in my experience, very few people in Chicago know where anything is and/or have a really poor sense of direction. Broad generalization, I know but I’m just going on my own personal experience.) Yes, breeze. I’ve been walking for what seems like a fortnight at this point, so I collapse in the grass, under a tree and pass out for awhile, listening to the waves tickling the rock shoreline. After what feels like an hour but is probably only 15 minutes, I awake to a humorous text message from a friend back home, asking how the first night of Apocolypticrust went. (I tell her it was a good idea she talked me out of bringing my blade.) I am totally rejuvenated now and head back, stopping first at Urban Outfitters to purchase a hipster scarf and a new hat from the discount bins. Joe and I arrive back at his place about the same time. Thankfully he turns on the ac. A brief round of conversation in between showers and he’s off to dinner and a gallery opening. Such a jet setter, that man is. I don’t have anything better to do, so I head out early for the fest. It’s fina be a long night again. The bus pretty much takes the same route I would have biked. Dang man, I wish…anyway. Same scene as last night. Tons of people boozing in the parking lot. It’s like two separate events. The fest inside and the gigantic beer party outside. In fact, I noticed that many of the parking lot partiers never, not even once, make it into the show. The bouncers are way over the top tonight. I get searched twice before I even make it in. They could give a shit less about the parking lot of minors a few feet away, wasted out of their minds but once you try to come through that door they turn into Nazis. Ridiculous. There only seems to be only a slight mix-up in schedule tonight. One of the bands that were supposed to play last night is on now…maybe? Other than that, I think I got it. I call a cab several hours ahead of time, asking to be picked up by 1:30am. I don’t really need to see the last band Behind Enemy Lines. Seen ‘em recently and live, the lead vocalist pretty much irritates me anyway. (I don't mind them on record though.) Cab lady recognizes me from last night. “Is that you Mr. O’Brien? So you went down to that neighborhood again huh?” She promises me a driver will be on time tonight. I skip out for awhile and go looking for some food. So much Mexican food to choose from, including street vendors. Aaarghh, how do I decide? As if making decisions wasn’t already hard enough for me. At least I have it narrowed down. It’s fina be Mexican. I finally settle on a place. I am the only pale skin fellow in the entire place. Looks like all the girls are fighting over who gets to take my order. Typical. I’m used to it. I eat some superb grub, careful not use too much hot sauce. (There seems to be no place around here to comfortably drop the bomb.) Back at the show Rioutous hits the stage. Holy shit, these cats are good. After them is Tierra De Nadie. I have seen De Nadie before and have a 7inch so I am looking forward to them. They do not disappoint. I’m wearing ear plugs but my head is a little rattled. Plus smoking is still allowed in Chicago and that’s starting to piss me off. Therefore I take a breather during Wartorn. I’ve seen them before and for whatever reason, I’m not really into it tonight. Outside I am approached by two gals that “want to meet new people.” Turns out they traveled from somewhere in Michigan. One is extra excited to hear I’m from Minneapolis. She has never been there. The other seems bored and leaves without saying anything. As far as making new friends goes, I’m batting .500 and not even working at it. Imagine if I applied myself. Someone hire me asap. I head back in because Appalachian Terror Unit is coming up and they are not to be missed. Hell fuckin’ right! These guys kick my ass hard. Crowd loves ‘em too. A band I have been looking forward to all weekend comes on next; Coaccion from Tijuana, Mexico. Considering the context of this particular fest, I have a pretty good idea what they may be like but I’m still excited. Dang man, they are nice! I am very impressed as are most people here. I buy a t-shirt and a 7-inch. I have no idea how the Spanish from their merch translates. Hopefully it means something like “White people suck” or “Americans that buy our shit without knowing Spanish are gay.” All Systems Fail are about to go on and its 5 minutes past the time my cab was supposed to be here. I call and they lady tells me “We don’t control the drivers. They control us…and none of them want go down there right now. Sorry Mr. O’Brien” I tell her to please keep trying. Like last night, I call another cab, to better my chances of getting out of here before the Latin Kings start roaming around looking for white dudes to fuck with. All Systems Fail is really good but I can’t fully enjoy them due to nervousness about the cab situation. Several phone calls to both companies and still nothing. I end up seeing Behind Enemy Lines after all. Finally a cab arrives. Just in time again. 20 bucks again. Awww, fuck it. Back at Joe’s, right on schedule. Pass out.

Dagas Por Palabras: Chicago-Day 1

Well as promised (at least to myself), this past weekend was much different than the one previous. Friday I hopped on the MegaBus to Chicago. (My virgin MegaBus experience has provided me with enough material to write a scathing yet comedic novel. Let’s just say, I will think long and hard before I put myself through that hell again. The price is right, but man…ok, another time.) 8 hours later I arrived in downtown at Union Station. I couldn’t have been happier to have finally get off the bus and was anxious and somewhat nervous to see what lay ahead of me. The purpose of my trip to Chicago was a crust-punk festival called Apocolypticrust. Since the fest ran from 7pm to 2am each night, I wasn’t necessarily in a hurry to get there. I jumped on the blue line and made my way to Logan Square, where I met my homie Joe and two of his friends at a hipster joint. We threw back a few beers and conversed freely. A wide range of topics were covered. Those included but were not limited to: art, public transportation, pretentious food, and my favorite: the difficult task of achieving orgasm from a blow job. Joe said it best. “Okay, start by taking a muscle relaxer and plan on being down there for an hour or so. Hey, it takes a lot of work on both ends.” Indeed, it does. Quick stop at Joe’s place for a tour and I was off to the fest. His buddy was able to give me a ride which was nice, seeing as how I knew nothing about the neighborhood I was going into. My original plan was to bring my bike and get around that way but MegaBus allows no such thing. We found the place fairly easy. It is pretty much a straight 6 mile shot south of Joe’s place. I smiled as we pulled up and I recognized many faces from the TC. Since I was going Han Solo to this event it was relieving to have fellow Minneappletons around. Nobody that I know, of course, but people I could probably go to if I got in a jam. Some hardcore band was on when I walked in. They were asking “Who wants to sing?” and handing the mic around. Nice! I promptly ordered a Negro Modelo and a slice of pizza. This first night is sort of a blur. I was fairly road weary and there seemed to be no order as to which bands were playing. I tried to follow along on my set list sheet but it didn’t quite match up. Plus none of the bands introduced themselves. I was able to finally figure out some of it. Protestant from Milwaukee was rad. I’d like to see them again. I know I saw Catheter (Denver) and Wojczech (Germany) but I just don't know which was which. There was some major drama involving bouncers taking knives from people and not giving them back or giving back the wrong ones. I was thankful I hadn’t brought one. (Taking the advice of a friend, I left my blade back in MN.) Fuck it, I was tired and called for a cab. Two hours later, after several calls to two cab companies and just as I was about to ask strangers for help, a cab arrived. Wheew, just in time. I was told by the driver that “We don’t like to come over here if we don’t have to, so your call wasn’t necessarily a priority. I was actually hoping you’d find a different ride.” Great, between the bouncer telling me to “Watch out for Latin Kings” and this guy, I feel really good about being a white dude from out of state, standing on a corner in this neighborhood at 2:30 in the morning. On the ride back to Joe’s I saw many of the people that were at the fest, biking the same route we were taking. Dang. 20 dollars later I was missing Bubble-licious (my bike…It’s a color scheme thing) more than ever. Crashed hard and prepared to do it all over again the next day…