Sometimes when you look back at pictures you've taken, you're smacked right in the face with a giant boner of harsh reality. That reality being that at one time not only were you a dick, but you were a super creepy dick. These two pics are from my take-pictures-of-women-eating-phallic-shaped-foods phase. Who knows what I was thinking; I was on some Larry Clarke shit or something.
I remember around this period sitting at table with this hot German girl from a nearby language camp at a party in Bemidji, MN, and she was all impressed with me because she thought I was an artist or whatever. That was until she asked me what I'd been working on lately. "Ahhh, well, uhm, yeah, well ah, lately I've been inconspicuously taking photos of girls eating hotdogs and stuff." Yeah, she was not so impressed anymore. Seeing as how the likelihood of having sex with her had dissipated, I decided to continue, "I think it's kind of, like, humorous. I mean, to me, one of the funniest things you can do is to take a photo of a women fellating a ice cream cone when she least expects it." I may as well have told her I was a Jew because I could see her repressed Nazi blood was now boiling. "I mean, that's true art, right?!" Well, she really let me have it, calling me (among other things that were said in German) a disgusting pig. She shoved the table away from herself and tried to pour her beer on me but thankfully one of her friends stopped her. At the time I couldn't understand why she got so upset. I chalked it up to Nazis not having a sense of humor.
Anyway, being a little older now and looking back, I realize what a creeper move it was to take some of those pics. For me it was honestly just about low-brow humor. It wasn't like I derived any sexual pleasure from it. I wasn't getting off for G's sake! But I can see where ole Eva Braun was coming from that night in Bemidji. The idea is pretty gross. It's just too bad she didn't stick around long enough for me to explain to her that I ALWAYS GOT WRITTEN CONSENT. Even though, technically, I didn't have to.